Nanny becoming unreliable, what to do?

[Fressia123]

We have a part time nanny that helps me between 15-20hrs (she puts as many hours as she wants to). The problem is that she's starting to let me know on the day what hours she's coming. I usually have a meeting on Fridays and today (just like last week) had to postpone it. We're viewing a nursery next week as we want the baby to be with other babies but we're planning on delaying it until January.

I have a fear that she'll just stop coming altogether at some point or just coming random /odd hours. Would you get another one until January? Or just send the baby to nursery sooner than planned?

[Jumpingkangeroo]

I would start nursery earlier, I was in a similar position and ended up letting the nanny go as I felt she took advantage of me being laid back. The agency sent me a temporary one who was just as flakey and I wish I had gone straight for the nursery.

[NannyR]

If you need her to be in for fixed hours then you need to swap the arrangement from self employed to employing her and give her a contract that states her working hours - if she needs to come in late or finish early (e.g. medical appt) she needs to clear that with you beforehand.
I've worked as a nanny for years and never had this sort of relaxed work situation - it does seem weird that she decides your childcare hours.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

So she’s not a nanny. She’s a self-employed babysitter. A nanny would be employed by you and a childminder (self-employed) would be minding at their home.

[DrinkFeckArseGirls]

You are not her employer, OP. You’re her client. It’s not great what she’s doing and I would move on from her but she’s not breaking the contract - as self-employed she can choose her own hours.

Have you explained how her unreliability affects you?

[Illstartexercisingtomorrow]

Well yes she can choose her own hours as she is self employed, but she can’t screw you around by changing those hours on a whim at short notice.

That only works if you have a job that involves a computer, not one that involves other people waiting on you.

[Fressia123]

Yes, exactly. I know she's not doing anything wrong as there's no written contract but I do think she's being very unprofessional.

[Pluckedpencil]

Self employed doesn't mean 'turn up when you fancy'. It's not flexibility of it only goes in one direction. You need to be more straightforward. "I know you have this lift situation but actually I've realised I need you every Friday from 8am-12 because I usually have a meeting that day. If she can't promise that, pull forward the nursery plan or look at using a childminder who would for sure be less flakey as you take the child to their house!

[MyOwnSummer]

You're actually not doing her any favours either to let her get away with this. If she takes that attitude to almost any other employer, she will get fired pretty darn quick.

You've got to put your foot down, she is young and needs to learn how the world of work actually operates. At the moment, it seems like she has no respect for you or your time, she has lost sight of why she actually being paid to be there.

[GU24Mum]

It sounds as though one of you needs to write a list of hours for the following week then give it to the other to discuss. At that point the other person can ask for a change to accommodate meetings (you) or other stuff (her) but it's then fixed for that week. If she then can't stick to that without there having been illness or emergency then I'd knock it on the head.

[CleverCatty]

@Tadpolesandfroglets

Just tell her this ‘relaxed’ informal method isn’t working as well as you had hoped and you actually need some set hours to attend meetings/work related stuff. She should be open to a discussion?

This - just say this. You could also have a casual convo with her and say, I know you used to be a babysitter and now you're doing this and maybe you should think about set hours with me and your other clients if you want to be a nanny/childcare provider. Coach it as general career advice.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Nannies aren't usually self employed, legally. You can't choose to be self employed, this is defined by what you do.

www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law

As well as the hours and unreliability being a factor, you're at risk of breaking employment and tax laws.

[CleverCatty]

@MyOwnSummer

You're actually not doing her any favours either to let her get away with this. If she takes that attitude to almost any other employer, she will get fired pretty darn quick.

You've got to put your foot down, she is young and needs to learn how the world of work actually operates. At the moment, it seems like she has no respect for you or your time, she has lost sight of why she actually being paid to be there.

MyOwnSummer

Exactly - this young woman obviously has little or no idea how the world of work works so needs a bit of guidance.

I was actually a babysitter and ended up childminding in my summer holidays for one couple - this was casual but this was guided by the parents, even then, I knew that generally I'd be required three days a week at the least and sometimes one or two mornings too, plus some of these to help me get used to this were with the mother - e.g. helping her take the DC shopping and to other parents houses, to mini gym etc. The hours were slightly more flexible as they owned a record shop - so it could be from 9.30/10am to 4/5pm which suited me fine.

[Happyotamus]

Give her a written warning, set her hours and let her decide whether she does want to work for you or not, because to me, it sounds like she doesn't.

And if she doesn't, I wouldn't want her there.

[SpaceOP]

Yup, like PP, you're not doing her or you any favours by letting this carry on. Today you need to sit her down and explain that you do need some certainty of hours and agree how that will work. I would suggest that you tell her the week before what hours you absolutely need. She then tells you what additional hours she would LIKE to work. You check that this works for both parties and then it's confirmed.

I don't think it's an issue to have flexibility on both sides but she is learning nothing about how to be professional and you are getting no benefit from her supposed help in the current set up.

[Clymene]

@BarbaraofSeville

Nannies aren't usually self employed, legally. You can't choose to be self employed, this is defined by what you do.

www.gov.uk/au-pairs-employment-law

As well as the hours and unreliability being a factor, you're at risk of breaking employment and tax laws.

Yes, this is really a bit of a dodgy arrangement. Does she work for other people and is she registered self-employed?

[Beautiful3]

Definitely use nursery now. It's no good having unreliable childcare.

[GabsAlot]

youve got no contract no formal arrangement shes a glorfied babysitter

[VanGoghsDog]

I do think she's being very unprofessional.

What made you think she knew how to be professional when she is a student who does a bit of ad hoc babysitting? She's not actually a professional, is she?

[devildeepbluesea]

What's wrong with just speaking to her?

[BIWI]

@Fressia123

Yes, exactly. I know she's not doing anything wrong as there's no written contract but I do think she's being very unprofessional.

Actually I think you are the one who is being unprofessional! You need to be very clear about the hours that you want, and have this in a contract.

If she doesn't agree with what you want, then it's time for her to move on and for you to find a better nanny.

Having a nanny isn't about introducing a new friend to the family - you're an employer. Even if she is self-employed!

You are the employer/client, and therefore you should be behaving like one.

[Cheeseboardandmincepies]

I’d start nursery In the next few weeks or so and bin her off. She’s not a nanny if she’s doing that, highly unprofessional don’t give her a good reference.

[NataliaOsipova]

We had a similar-ish sort of arrangement a few years ago; like you, we thought it was a great set up for someone. And it was a disaster, for similar reasons to the ones you outlined. And the conclusion I came to was this: anyone professional/serious about childcare as a career wouldn’t want or be available for that sort of arrangement in the first place; they’d want a “proper” job. So that means in practice you’re 99% likely to end up with some flaky youngster who is....well, flaky. It’s a shame, because it could be a marvellous arrangement for someone, but I just don’t think it ever works in practice.

[LindaEllen]

Surely your childcare should arrive when you need childcare, or what's the point of having them at all? Just set her hours so they're the same every week - it's easier for everyone! If you allow things to be so informal it's not surprising that she takes liberties.

[Florencemattell]

If she is self employed she is offering a service. You either accept it or find another provider.
You should have employed a nanny for twenty hours a week. You could have asked for flexibility on the days you wanted. As the nanny would not be able to take other work on those days in order to be available for you then you would be paying a higher hourly rate than normal. You would also be required to pay 5.6 weeks holiday, statutory sick pay and pension.
You have probably not paid out as much in your ad hoc arrangement so maybe that’s a bonus.
You would be very unlikely to find a nanny wanting to work a few months only. Just enrol at the nursery now.

[Saracen]

She doesn't sound unreliable to me. I think you just aren't communicating well with her. How would she know that her behaviour was causing you inconvenience if you haven't told her?

Why don't you figure out how much flexibility you can live with, and explain to her what you need? For example, you might agree with her what her usual hours will be, but say that you will usually be happy for her to vary those hours by giving you three days' notice.