Missed miscarriage - how to proceed?

[Kotchika]

Looking for advice about how to proceed with a missed miscarriage. Several early scans showed pregnancy was 2 weeks behind my LMP dates, but had heartbeat and was growing. Latest scan showed heartbeat stopped when baby at size of 7 weeks 6 days, I would be 11 weeks 3 days by my LMP. So it’s a missed miscarriage.
My first pregnancy 10 years ago ended in a blighted ovum and I had a D&C. Next pregnancy was normal and healthy, next pregnancy ended in a natural early miscarriage, then next pregnancy was normal, then there’s this one which was a bit of a lovely surprise as it’s been 8 years and I’m 41!
I’m having a terrible time deciding how to manage this, have a D&C or wait for it to happen? I don’t want to take the drugs, not sure why. I’d really like to avoid a D&C as I think it can make future implantation more difficult, and I think we’ll TTC again. But I’m scared of waiting as it may take weeks and I can’t plan it (difficult with 2 daughters who I’d need to hide it from) and I’m mainly scared of the pain! Any advice would be gratefully received.

When I had a missed miscarriage at 14wks, the hospital gave me pessaries 3 over about 10hrs I think and I delivered that evening.

Hi OP, first I’m sorry for your loss.

My missed miscarriage was similar to yours. Baby stopped growing at 7w 6d and it was discovered at 11 weeks. I’d also had a spontaneous miscarriage 4 months previously.

I decided (after thinking it through for about a week) to have a d&c. I didn’t want to take the tablets and be admitted and miscarry in hospital. I had also had a spontaneous miscarriage and I didn’t really want to do that again so the d&c seemed the best option for me.

I hadn’t read about it making implantation more difficult - I was pregnant 3 months later so that wasn’t my experience (and that one stuck).

Oh and I called the ward about 3 times and there was always someone who was willing to talk through my options.

With your two kids in mind, maybe it needs to be over as quickly as possible.
Surgical treatment is the quickest, cleanest and least traumatic.

You are right, it could be weeks before anything happens, then the pain & bleeding can go on... resulting in surgical intervention anyway.

It’s a tough one. But it’s done, it’s over and not going to progress is it.
Practicality takes over now.

It’s a bastard. I know.
All the best x

I had a D&C for mine (Switzerland, not given any other option). It felt best to get it over with. It's a hard thing to go through and I think the more control you have the better.

My consultant wasn't keen for me to let nature take its course. Not sure why really.

I waited for nature to take its course but nature didn’t in the time frame that the hospital was happy with (I’m talking of months waiting!) so I had the op in the end.

If it happened again I’d probably still wait for a few weeks but maybe not quite as long as I did last time.

I’d look into whether a d&c really will affect your chances again or not, if that’s the only thing stopping you. It really is the quickest, cleanest and most straightforward way. Like PP I had a ERPC after a mmc (I’m not entirely sure if it’s the same as a D&C) and did conceive again about 5 months later (no issues that pregnancy).

Ooops presses post too soon.

Appreciate that’s anecdotal though!

Sorry for your loss

I forgot to say, I wasn't told anything about it affecting ttc again. They just advised waiting 3 months to give my body a chance to recover.

First of all, I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I hadn't heard of MMCs until it happened to me and I well remember the shock and grief,

Unfortunately I had three MMCs in a row and two D&Cs after each of them. As you can see, I managed to conceive after the first and eventually went on to have a healthy pregnancy. I remember reading that successive D&Cs might affect implantation- but at the time there was no choice - so I wouldn't worry about this too much.

Having also had a natural MC, I'd probably go for the D&C because it will be easier to manage if you have other children.

Thank you so much all of you for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. Whilst logically I know other women go through this, it’s really comforting to actually be able to chat to other women who’ve experienced the same.
I’ll opt for a D&C, I’m fortunate to have private health insurance that will cover this, whilst I think the NHS is brilliant it’ll probably be best for both of us during Covid to go private.
I’m worried about waiting the 3 months until TTC again because at my age I don’t have time to spare, but I also feel that as long as I remain positive and grateful for the amazing 2 daughters I’ve been lucky enough to already have, then what will be will be. Much love xx

The 3 months was only advice in Switzerland OP. Friends it's happened to in England weren't told the same.

Hugs. These things are hard.