Just wondering if anyone has experiences of this with young children. My 6 year old has always had quite difficult behavior, never slept as a baby or toddler, constantly crying etc. We tested for allergies, tried different things to get him to sleep or help him with all the crying. He’d have tantrums which were more like meltdowns in that he couldn’t stop and was completely inconsolable etc. These were a huge worry as I really couldn’t distract him at all once he was in this state.
Anyway huge, huge relief once he turned 4 as he suddenly started sleeping really well and the tantrums hugely reduced etc.
He’s six now, wonderful , very loving and creative child , I’m frequently told he’s so well behaved in school, he gets stars every week as he’s so kind to others or he’s being so well behaved etc. As you can guess his behavior is not the same at home . He is definitely not badly behaved, he never hits or is purposely naughty, we just have huge issues with him refusing to do certain things. He has sensory issues with clothes , I totally accept this and work with him but he also refuses to dress himself , it’s hard to describe but everything is a battle with him . He won’t put on his own trousers , socks , shoes and it’s not normal obstinate behavior as he won’t do this , we could be there an hour and even if we are going somewhere he wants to go he won’t put them on himself. He does this happily and willingly everywhere else . I know children with asd can mask behavior though.
It’s also the same with something he wants , for example if he wants something in a shop he will go on and on and on and not give up even though I’m totally consistent and if I say no I mean no he’ll still push and push and push or if we are going somewhere and he wants to go somewhere else he will go on and on about the other place.
It’s just so, so wearing, I could list 7-8 incidents like this a day. We try our best to be patient but I’m ashamed to say I have become really angry out of sheer frustration at times and I know this is wrong. I feel like absolute crap about it all.
We have jobs and other children so having to deal with this constantly is wearing. I have mentioned it several times to the school but they don’t see a hint of it and say his behavior is exceptionally good, he’s very sociable and is the least likely to get rough etc. When I said of the incidents they seemed really surprised and sortof downplayed it by saying kids can be worse for the parents . Tbh I actually have a fair bit of experience with education and v surprised the don’t realize how children with asd or on the spectrum often mask. Like that would be one of the first things I’d think of . If anything they made me really doubt myself.
I keep thinking are we imagining things as he eats everything, has absolutely no issue with change , travels the best of any of my children , will sleep anywhere, now goes to loads of clubs happy out . It’s just these daily battles with clothes and how he can’t let things go. I had him booked into play therapy but it’s been cancelled with covid . I hope to have him in once they reopen. Does this sound familiar to anyone. I’m crying writing this but it prob sounds so minor but it really isn’t. I also feel we are failing him.