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25 Siblings and me

37 replies

IdkickJilliansass · 04/10/2020 22:29

Anyone watch this and really feel for Oly?

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campion · 06/10/2020 23:51

Some of them were tolerant so individual relationships is probably the best way for Oli, as he says. As long as he knows who is tolerant! The size of the group plus their similar ages was a major minus for him. They were very full on when they all got together which was overwhelming - bit of an Asperger's nightmare.

A cautionary tale anyway.Babies grow up and want to know about their biological origins. Who'd have thought it?!

IdkickJilliansass · 07/10/2020 17:36

Exactly @campion, so glad the amounts of donations are more regulated now.

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roseyroserose · 07/10/2020 17:50

I did really feel for Olly. I didn't like the Dad much. I don't think he helped Oly's situation and would have been quite happy to not have to deal with Oly again.

I also think it must be quite hard at that age for siblings to meet up without sexual feelings becoming involved. It must be really confusing.

IdkickJilliansass · 07/10/2020 19:56

It must be and there’s that weird genetic attraction phenomenon that makes relatives that have grown up separately have a strong almost visceral attraction to each other.

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IdkickJilliansass · 07/10/2020 19:57

That should say some relatives

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CarlGauss · 09/10/2020 09:52

@pieceofspam

He did seem to have some attention seeking behaviours and likes to say things that aggravate people. I think I'd find him hard work in real life and I can see why most of the group couldn't deal with him. Sterling should have been mor euro front but he probably had tried to put him off but it was in oli's mind that he needed to see him so he kept on trying.
As someone with Asperger's, they weren't attention seeking or deliberately argumentative...they were autistic behaviours and there's a huge difference. But yes, they did aggravate people, and that's something people with Asperger's have to try and navigate their entire lives. You probably would find him hard work, as most NTs would...people find me hard work. With the cultural divide he was also having to navigate, plus being last to the group, he was always severely up against it and I really felt for him.

I appreciate that we saw an edited version of things but it seemed that several of the siblings didn't make enough effort to understand what Asperger's means for someone in terms of their behaviours, and they reacted as if Oli wasn't neuro-diverse. That doesn't mean we want people to make huge allowances for us and almost all people with Asperger's do not use it as an excuse to be an ass, which is an accusation we hear a lot. The donor, Dale, particularly annoyed me when they were talking about the 'bitch' conversation. He accused Oli of wanting the entire world to accommodate him but all Oli wanted (and all most of us ever want) is to be accepted for how we are and, yes, it's difficult and will require some effort on your part. He didn't seem to know the difference between 'expecting the world to accommodate you' and wanting it to accept you, warts and all. Don't even get me started on Sterling and the way he treated Oli by simply not turning up to a pre-arranged meeting and then completely ghosting him...I wanted to throttle him. What a douche. Angry

roseyroserose · 09/10/2020 11:13

@CarlGauss completely agree with everything you've said.
Oly was trying so hard. He was aware how he can come across and was trying his best to fit in with them all.
The way Sterling treated him was awful. There was no attempt at understanding why Olly acts the way he does (which wasn't even that bad). Even pretending he had a migraine so he didn't have to see him. Awful bullying behaviour.
As I said before I didnt like the sperm doner . He just seemed to revel in being popular with his children and almost encouraged the group to turn on Olly.
As others have mentioned he was already up against it being the only Brit.

CarlGauss · 09/10/2020 16:10

@roseyroserose Exactly. I'm glad he decided to leave the group chat and concentrate on trying to create individual relationships, but at the same time feel sad that it's yet another thing that he loses out on because of his Asperger's.

25 Siblings and me
IdkickJilliansass · 09/10/2020 16:28

I agree too, In my opinion he came off better than they did and seriously how could they be so ‘woke’ about the word bitch but make no consideration for people with Autism.

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MadCatEnthusiast · 12/10/2020 04:30

But what I find concerning is how Oli made the Sterling's negative reaction of his intentions to donate a personal attack about him when he clearly was wrong. He omitted to tell the agency that he had aspergers which would exclude him for donating purposely.

His "oh I was/am going to tell them, I wouldn't lie about my medical history" line seems flimsy because.. surely you would be asked right away?

The fact he's British and an only child didn't help matters either.

JohannaA · 24/06/2021 15:53

@pieceofspam

He did seem to have some attention seeking behaviours and likes to say things that aggravate people. I think I'd find him hard work in real life and I can see why most of the group couldn't deal with him. Sterling should have been mor euro front but he probably had tried to put him off but it was in oli's mind that he needed to see him so he kept on trying.
That attention seeking and aggravation, that is not typical Aspergers behaviour. Nor is the representation of ASD as not having emotions, or as Oli says, “ like a robot”. I felt sad, it’s depressing to see Aspergers misrepresented this way, and perpetuates a false conception about how people with ASD experience social interaction.

People with Asperger profiles absolutely do have feelings, although they may have difficulty identifying and discussing them. In fact, many feelings – such as fear, anger and joy – seem to be experienced more intensely by those with Asperger profiles than by average people. They often have excess empathy, and are very focussed on learning social skills and helping people understand them, not making ‘it everyone’s problem but mine.’

I saw no empathy in Oli, not many ASD features at all really, I think it more likely he has a personality disorder.

His new extended family were mostly very kind and tolerant in the face of his self centred and immature aggression, I think they’re an amazing group of people coming to terms with extraordinary events. There was a lot that was not shown. I felt for them, with all they had to deal with the last thing they needed was a stranger with psychopathy and a film crew.

FYI -Psychopathy is defined as a mental (antisocial) disorder in which an individual manifests amoral and antisocial behavior, shows a lack of ability to love or establish meaningful personal relationships, expresses extreme egocentricity, and demonstrates a failure to learn from experience and other behaviors associated with the condition.

No one wants to diagnose a child with that. Actually sadder for him.

ToastieSnowy · 20/07/2021 18:46

Autism stood out loud and clear, especially him struggling to cope with the whole group. That type of situation can be so overwhelming for people with autism. Loved how he randomly left food for a homeless person then worried he’d bought sandwiches he wouldn’t like.

I’m glad Oli decided to develop individual friendships rather than stay in the group. I wasn’t keen on the sperm donor Dad either, he wasn’t kind to Oli who was looking for acceptance.

I didn’t like how Stirling stood him up and how he spoke to Oli when he became upset about it. I did like Spencer so hope that relationship develops in future.

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