Overcoming fear of driving alone and becoming confident driver.

[Petitegirl]

I am looking for some advice and positive stories of overcoming fear of driving alone and becoming a confident driver. I passed my driving test but I did a little bit of driving but most of the time with someone else in the car. I did refresh lessons and the instructor said that I have the skill, I am very observant and I am a safe driver just need to build my confidence. The rational side of me is telling me that the only way to do it is to practice and practice, no other way. I just can’t do it on my own, I hate myself for this as I am limiting myself. The nature of my husband jobs requires me to be able to drive, I use public transport when I can but sometimes is not possible and I have to find other alternatives which is becoming more and more clear that I must drive myself, so for me is not only about freedom but vital necessity as well.
Sorry for long post, just needed to make myself clear on the topic. i just want to hear positive stories from people who have overcame this fear and any tips/advice.
Thank you all in advance for your time.

I have experience with this! I was still terrified of driving after passing my test. I've been driving years now and while not as confident as some I don't think twice about normal day to day driving (I would still be nervous to drive abroad).

I got over it by having a few lessons in my own car after passing and basically forcing myself to drive everyday. At first just easy trips (I'd look up the route in advance on google map so I'd know exactly where to go at every roundabout. I gradually did more challenging drives and just kept forcing myself to do it. Eventually I was no longer scared of driving around my town, and after a while could drive further afield without fear.

This will only get better with practice, you seem to know this.

I used to cry before driving and vomit. I totally empathise. Actually the anticipation was worse than the actual driving.

I would also meticulously plan routes, check junctions on google maps, have back up plans 'if I can't get parked easily at X, I will go to Y' I also found that having a satnav really helped, I felt that it was one less thing to worry about. I would also go out when it was quiet, ever at rush hour etc.

I also told myself that if all these other people could drive I could, and I've soon realised that I'm probably safer than quite a larger chunk of the driving population.

And I also think you need to give yourself permission to make mistakes: it doesn't matter if you can't reverse into that tiny spot, or stall at the lights or are in the wrong lane. What you realise is that no one is perfect, and that its ok to balls it up sometimes as long as everyone gets home safely.

DS had this. The daily commute to work is what cured him over time. It's all down to experience. He got confident on a route he did twice daily and built up on that. It's all down to practice really.

I also told myself that if all these other people could drive I could, and I've soon realised that I'm probably safer than quite a larger chunk of the driving population

Other people’s driving is what worries me!

I was like this too. Had refresher lessons on specifics like roundabouts. But what helped was driving at quiet times. Sometimes after midnight. I started by driving to the local train station then started joining motor ways at easy points even if it meant I drove out of my way.
Now I love driving and do a long commute to work.

Parisian lady, you have literally described me. The anticipation and knowing I have to drive somewhere made me and still makes me sick. I hate making mistakes and even a little tiny one, like not being perfectly positioned when turning left makes me upset and wanting to give up.

Thank you everyone for replying to the post.

It gets easier. You do need to drive most days to get used to it. Use Google maps to plan your route and use Street view to check roundabouts etc. Drive slowly at tricky bits to keep calm. You'll be ok

Time and practice. I used to hate driving, now I enjoy it. Try going out early on Sunday mornings when there’s not much traffic.

I literally forced myself. It got easier. I now prefer to be the driver.

Having a newer vehicle helped too. Not an option for everyone I know.