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Original poster

Feeling like an awful mother

13 replies

Stargazer2404 · 04/10/2020 13:49

My 8 month old daughter burnt her hand really badly from touching the heater this morning.

I feel like a horrible mother and there is no excuse for this to happen. I should have been watching her!!! I turned my back to get the nappies and wipes out the draw, and she put her hand on the heater and screamed like never before

Her hand blistered and got very swollen within 10 mins. We rang 111, advised us to go to the hospital. This happened at 9.30 and we are here, waiting to hear back from the Burns Clinic to see whether they want us to go there instead.

Doctor at a&e removed the blisters to check for damage underneath, cant see any but they said theyd rather have the Burns clinic see the pictures before sending us away

I feel horrible. If i had half a brain this wouldnt have happened.

OP posts:
TheGhostofGlumy · 04/10/2020 14:10

It's more common than you think, and honestly it doesn't mean you are an awful mother. Everyone has the near misses where we didn't spot the danger in time. Some of us get unlucky and the bad stuff actually happens. I hope your dd recovers quickly Flowers

Witchend · 04/10/2020 14:14

No, if you were an awful mother you'd have shouted at her for touching it and ignored the burns.

Accidents happen. You can see them afterwards and wonder how you didn't think to stop beforehand.

I know an adult who lost his finger in an burn, grabbing (while wet) an electric heater. He didn't feel it was his parent's fault and never blamed them.

FourPlasticRings · 04/10/2020 14:17

Oh, bless her. These things happen- mine once grabbed the toaster when I was standing near it holding her. Don't beat yourself up about it, learn from it. Get rid of the heater though- it's clearly not safe.

Echobelly · 04/10/2020 14:19

No one can watch a baby constantly - we don't have eyes in the backs of our heads and we are allowed to look away, go out of the room etc without feeling guilty. As a poster said, you got unlucky - wishing you LO a good recovery Flowers

Spied · 04/10/2020 14:22

My DS grabbed my hair straightener the week before his 2nd Birthday.
I can't look at those Birthday photos with his bandaged hand even 10 years later.
These things do happen and more often than you realise whilst feeling like you do.
It has no bearing on your parenting ( in most cases). How you deal with these accidents shows more the type of mum you are.
You have done the right thing.

Holliej · 04/10/2020 14:29

If you were an awful mother you wouldn’t be on here worried about it. These things Happen- try not to beat yourself up about it. It is impossible to watch them 24/7. I really hope your DD recovers quickly. Xx

Babdoc · 04/10/2020 14:36

My youngest (when aged just over a year) fell against the oven door while I was roasting a chicken, in the days before “cool skin” double doors, so it was ferociously hot. Her whole palm ballooned up in a massive blister to double the size of her hand.
Fortunately I’m a doctor and my next door neighbour in those days was a plastic surgeon. So we knew to run the hand in cold water and then to leave the large blister intact, while keeping the hand moist. My neighbour encased the hand in a plastic bag taped to DDs sleeve, after applying antibiotic ointment to the blister.
After a few days the blister fluid had all reabsorbed and the hand was as good as new, with no scarring.
The plastic bag idea was developed in the Falklands war to provide first aid to burned British soldiers.
OP, don’t beat yourself up. I bet every mother has similar horror stories of accidents, burns, scalds, fractures etc. We are only human, these things happen. You can’t possibly have your eye on the ball 24/7, unless you wrap your DC in cotton wool and deny them any life at all!
I had one particularly memorable day when my toddler fell down the stairs and the baby toppled backwards head first out of the open patio door onto a concrete step, within minutes of each other.
So I think you have a long way to go in the “bad mother” stakes!
Forgive yourself, have a nice cup of tea and carry on mothering.

LynetteScavo · 04/10/2020 14:37

Did you know the necessary first aid? If not it might be an idea to do a short course or a bit of Googling incase you need to administer first aid in the future.

You'll have learned a lot from this. Try not to feel too bad.

TheShapeJaper · 04/10/2020 14:44

No way are you an awful mother! Accidents do and will happen. I feel so bad for you though, a few things happened to my son when he was in my care and I hate myself for them but they were complete accidents. I hope your baby is ok.

weepingwillow22 · 04/10/2020 14:54

My 11 month old did the same thing last week. He pulled himself up on a hot radiator and I didn't notice until he started crying. His hands both blistered and I took him to a and e who cut the blisters off and bound up both hands. He was given an appointment for the burns unit 2 days later.

I felt terrible for him for those 2 days although he didn't seem bothered in the slightest and still managed to finger feed by holding the food between the two bandages.

When I took him to the burns unit they said his hands had healed and removed all bandages. Now a week on and there is no sign of the burns at all. I just have to moisturise his hands three times a day to keep the skin flexible.

I am sure everything will be ok and try not to blame yourself it is impossible to keep a close watch 24/7.

maras2 · 04/10/2020 15:04

When DD was 4 months old she lay on the floor ready for a nappy change and as I turned to reach for the nappy the little monkey decided to do the first 'roll over' in split second time.
The gas fire wasn't on but the pipe underneath was hot.
You can guess the rest. Sad
Fortunately we lived quite close to the A and E dept where she was treated immediately. There was a large blister under her knee and to this day, 44 years on there is still a brownish mark.
Please don't beat yourself up.As you can see by all the posts this is more common than you'd expect.
I was so distraught that I welcomed the visit from the HV the next day just to offload.
Hope your baby gets well soon. Flowers

Original poster
Stargazer2404 · 04/10/2020 18:14

Thank you so much for your replies! Made me feel a lot better in not feeling crap. I apprexiate it tonnes. Shes home now, bandaged up and burns clinic appointment in 2 days just to check it over! Thank you all xxx

OP posts:
mbosnz · 04/10/2020 18:43

OP, I'm an extremely overanxious mother - according to my girls who have made it into their teens.

So far, we have:

  1. Dropped baby
  2. Had toddler whack her hand on the hot oven door
  3. Had child set fire to a tissue, which happily didn't result in a house fire. (Long story).
  4. Had daughter run the length of the mall away from Daddy. Without him noticing.
  5. Had daughter nip out the side gate, into the car, play brum brum, and then panic, forgetting how to open door on hot summers day.
  6. Had daughter climb out the window in the freezing pouring rain, just for a bit of a laugh. Good thing I opened the door. . .
  7. Had child eat berries - cue me taking daughter and berries to garden centre to find out if we needed to go to hospital, as per the healthline's instructions.
I promise you, I'm not a negligent parent. We've only got one set of eyes! I'm glad you're all good now.
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