Are violent children likely to be witnessing violence at home?

[caughtalightsneeze]

My 9 year old is at school with a child who is persistently violent. Just constant kicking, punching, throwing things, slapping, chasing other kids and tripping them up, then kicking them once they're on the ground. He can manage his behaviour in the sense that he doesn't do it when he knows that adults can see him, and he's actually very charming and polite to other parents.

Needless to say, none of us want our kids to be getting hurt. But when I started thinking about it, I realised that his two older siblings are the same. And I started wondering where it comes from? I understand toddlers lashing out in frustration but by the top end of primary school the majority of children have learned to control themselves to a far greater extent.

I want him to stop, but at the same time I would feel a lot of sympathy if I thought it likely that he's exposed to similar behaviour by the adults in his life.

Many of the kids I have seen through work who are violent either have witnessed domestic violence at home (even years before) or have had it "normalised" by watching/ playing very violent games/ tv. Some who have learning disabilities might hit out, but generally would do that in any circumstances, and not just when adults weren't around.

Agree with PP as have experienced similar. Also one families violence is another families rough play. If this child has two older siblings then it is top down.

I don't think anyone can say for sure.

More likely than the average child to have been exposed either through family or inappropriate games.

However this is not a certainty.

Not necessarily. Children's behaviour should not so easily put in a box.

I would say it's unusual for a child to act like that without an underlying reason. One such reason is violence at home.