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Why am I not happy?

9 replies

Throwawaytitle · 04/10/2020 06:33

I've been very sad for a couple of years, I'm being treated for depression but I don't know why. On paper I have everything and even my husband asked why am I not happy.
I have a new job starting soon (exsisting job was an issue)
I have a lovely husband
I have two amazing children
We have money and a house. Plenty of food and spare cash
My life is so much better now then at other points, I had a rough childhood then was homeless.
My sleeping has slipped so I fall asleep at 9 and wake up at 5, I spend too much time by myself and not enough with my family. My self esteem is in the minus numbers.
Why am I mentally so bad now when my life is at its highest point? I have everything I wanted and I hate myself all the time.

OP posts:
ElizabethMainwaring · 04/10/2020 06:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Throwawaytitle · 04/10/2020 06:37

Hi, sorry not a troll, just changed my name as I didn't want to be connected to previous posts. Sorry you think my feelings aren't genuine.

OP posts:
Splishaplash · 04/10/2020 06:39

Hi, you can talk to me about what's going on if you want? Feel free to PM me if you like

Throwawaytitle · 04/10/2020 06:40

In fact thats the story of my life, no one believes how I feel when on the surface it looks so good. The first time I reach out I'm not believed.

OP posts:
Splishaplash · 04/10/2020 06:42


No don't worry, you are believed, I believe you. Feel free to talk to me about what's going on if you want

Throwawaytitle · 04/10/2020 06:43

Thanks @splishsplash. I guess that's the issue. I just feel so sad all the time and that everything is too much effort. I've got piles of stuff I need to sort out but I keep thinking what's the point. I lost a friend recently to suicide and that hit me for 6, so even if it was a thought in the past it isn't now. I've realised I got to keep living even if I can't be happy I've got to fake it.

OP posts:
KatherineJaneway · 04/10/2020 06:46

What does make you happy in life? When have you been most content?

Throwawaytitle · 04/10/2020 06:51

On holiday, somewhere away from real life. I used to have biker friends and go plus 100 on the back, or be at festivals and just have the music and atmosphere. Being on a plane makes me happy, doing new things. Taking my children places and showing them the world.

OP posts:
ElizabethMainwaring · 04/10/2020 10:39

Hello @Throwawaytitle
I am so, so sorry that I reported your thread in error.
I hope that you soon feel much better.
I suffer from anxiety, so I know how it is.
All I can suggest is that you go back to your HCP.
Hope that you have an ok day, and sorry again.

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