DD and friendships.

[ScrumptiousBears]

DD6 in year 2. Since reception has been good friends with a quite shy timid girl but also played with others. Since Year 1 another girl has started to be bossy and possessive.

Bossy girl started being friends with a mutual friend but wouldn't let my DD go near her. Pulling her away when my DD tried to speak or telling her they are best friends and she's not, not letting her play with them etc. Mutual friends mother stepped in, reported to the school who did nothing but acknowledged they were aware of the issues with bossy girl so mother tried to address it with bossy girls parents who denied it initially then said there's nothing they can do. Mother told her daughter not to go anywhere near bossy girl and now they don't speak.

Lockdown happened and my DD got a keyworker space in a bubble in the year above and had a lovely time.

Now Year 2 comes around and bossy girl has attached herself to shy girl and yet again my DD can't get near her. When she goes to speak to her bossy girl pulls her away or stands in between them. Tells her they are best friends, you can't play with her etc. Shy girls parents are aware of this and are trying to get shy girl to stick up for herself but they are also friends with bossy girls parents so I don't think they want to rock the boat.

My DD is really upset and affects her every morning on the way to school and every afternoon. I also effecting a sports club she joined as it's happening there as well. I'm at a loss what to say to her or what to do. Do I speak to the school? I'm reluctant to speak to bossy girls parents as I've seen how they aren't approachable on this subject.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I would chat to the school again, they often spot these things and I know our school activity discourage really intensive friendships at this age, it’s 2 form entry so each year they change the children round, is yours a one form entrance?

I know people will come along and say ‘they are only 6’ but I do understand how upsetting it can be. Can you encourage other friendships with other girls through play dates?

@Bringonspring

I would chat to the school again, they often spot these things and I know our school activity discourage really intensive friendships at this age, it’s 2 form entry so each year they change the children round, is yours a one form entrance?

I know people will come along and say ‘they are only 6’ but I do understand how upsetting it can be. Can you encourage other friendships with other girls through play dates?

Thanks for your reply.

It is a two form entrance but they stay in the class throughout the year.

I will try to speak to the school. It's difficult due to Covid and we don't really see the teachers anymore.

I know kids change friends and fall out but bossy child has done this at least once before and targets more timid girls who maybe just go along with it.

I have suggested other friends and have started more play days and meets outside of school with others. She does have other friends but really likes the shy girl and has been friend for a good few years.

I think it’s more form that the school hasn’t acted on it and split them up. Our school purposely changes the class around as you do get cliques/some children are great on their own but can just be badly behaved in certain combinations.

Should say ‘poor form’

I didn't realise that was a thing. It's a good idea I suppose and makes the kids make new friends.