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Older Parents

18 replies

Ladyk79 · 03/10/2020 11:35

Thoughts on children later in life....

Hi all, I am blessed to have one child, but had a very traumatic birth. Anyway we are over this now and all is well. We have recenty started talking about having a second. I'm 41 and husband is a little older, so the subject of health risks for me and baby have come up.

Any older parents out there? Would love to hear about your experiences and any advise. TIA x

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picosandsancerre · 15/10/2020 00:40

Ladyk79 happy to PM about my my experince of #4 at 44

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PaperMonster · 15/10/2020 06:31

I was 42 when I had mine. What do you want to know? X

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Ladyk79 · 15/10/2020 06:51

@paperMonster, did you experiance any health issues for either yourself or your little one (more so you lo). Also how have found having a baby at 42? Thanks x

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cptartapp · 15/10/2020 07:10

My friend had her twins at 47, her DH was 49 and her first set of twins were 17!
All fit and well but they're loaded and she doesn't work and pays for a nanny as needed.

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Londonnight · 15/10/2020 07:16

I was 42 when I had my last child. No health issues at the time for either of us. I did end up with an emergency section, but not sure whether that was related to my age.
Tiredness was the hardest thing for me due to age and a child that didn't sleep!, Child is now almost 20. It has been lovely having a "late" child, we have had a good time together and are very close.

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Ladyk79 · 15/10/2020 07:46

@cptartapp thank you

@londonnight thank you, it's lovely you have a great relationship. Glad everything was okay and no issues x

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ImSoMagical · 15/10/2020 07:50

I had 20 year age gap between mine, last child when I was nearly 43. I had no prior health issues and tbh the birth etc was easier than my first. As someone else said the main thing for me was lack of sleep! My LG now 8, I'm 51 and it's great, keeps you active!

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PaperMonster · 15/10/2020 09:14

@Ladyk79 I had a tough pregnancy but not due to my age, due to a pre-existing condition although I feel I dealt with it better than I would have when I was younger. I was fine, baby was fine. I loved my year of maternity- we had a blast! I was concerned I’d find it tiring as I have suffered from severe fatigue since being a baby myself but I was surprised how energised I felt! She’s nine now and we’re very close, she has a lot of freedom and a lot of friends - and we have much fun!

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PaperMonster · 15/10/2020 09:18

Also, I’ve a fair few pre-existing friends and I’ve made new friends through my daughter, that have had children my age or older. Including one who adopted toddlers.

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Ladyk79 · 15/10/2020 19:09

@ImSoMagical, thank you. It’s so reassuring to hear. Yes I guess it must keep you going

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Ladyk79 · 15/10/2020 19:12

@PaperMonster that’s amazing, thank you. Yes the thought of mummy friends of children the same age has crossed my mind. By the sounds of it ALOT of people seem to be having children later on

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DufferedUp · 15/10/2020 19:17

I just had DC #3 a week before my 43rd bday. She's now 6 weeks and I found it physically very traumatic. Much more so than when I had my twins 15 years ago. I only felt like I'd recovered a week ago and at times it felt like I'd never feel normal again. Not sure if it was due to bad luck or my age.

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SpringFan · 15/10/2020 19:31

I had my second when I was 42. I was tired during my second pregnancy but I had a 2 year old and a physical demanding job,as well. Although he slept as a baby , he didn't as a toddler so the tiredness continued!!!
Ds2 is now 24. I have noticed that compared to my peers I have much "younger" tastes in music and clothes and am more tech aware , as they always want to upgrade my kit and show me useful apps etc so we can keep in touch.
As far as mummy friends are concerned , some of the nursery and school mums were not much younger than me!

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motherofsnortpigs · 15/10/2020 20:01

I had a DS when I was 40. He’s now a brilliant nearly 5yo. I’m now 45 and we’re expecting his sister to arrive next month. I’ve found late pregnancy really tiring and I’m dreading the sleepless nights. I have a good number of ‘older mum’ friends who I know will rally round when I’ve had this baby. Friends who have been there done that and feel your pain are very precious.
FWIW my first birth was really traumatic, subsequent ones, not at all. Good luck if you decide to go for it.

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Laiste · 15/10/2020 20:14

No.4 at 44.

No.s 1, 2 and 3 were in my 20s and i found the pregnancy and birth took a bigger toll at 40 something.

Although every month which passed i got stronger it took probably a couple of years to feel fully me again. No actual medical problems or injuries - it just knocked the stuffing out of me. Apart from that - no probs. Lots of older mums round here as well so my worries about school gate appearances were totally unfounded :)

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Justgivemesomepeace · 15/10/2020 20:23

I was 42 when I had my DS. I'm 49 now and hes 7. No health concerns for either of us. I work full time though and am bloody knackered most of the time. I just don't have the energy I had when I had dd at 31. I haven't got any 'mum' friends though. Partly because I'm about 20 years older than the ones in the school play ground and I have plenty of other friends anyway and dont need any more. I chat with them in the playground but that's it. I think being older allows you to have a different perspective. I'm much more relaxed and confident than I was when I was younger and I think that really helps.

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Ladyk79 · 17/10/2020 11:35

@Justgivemesomepeace thank you. That's really reassuring.

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Ladyk79 · 17/10/2020 11:37

Thank you everyone for posting, defo made me feel better and given me the reassurance I need. There is risk with everything I guess. It's nice to know generally all the stories are positive. We are going to go for it eeeekkkkk wish me luck 🤞 xx

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