How long did it take for you to get over your broken heart?

[AWiseWomanOnceSaidFuckThisShit]

From day one of being completely inconsolable to day one of being completely healed?

About 7 years.

Hmmmm. Hard to say. We had been on and off for 7 years so i'd say it was a slow dying of the relationship but it was like the scales suddenly fell from my eyes a few weeks after our last break up, when he told a long convoluted story in front of all our friends about shagging his neighbour. I realised I didnt care at all, just felt nothing. If anything i felt sorry for him, as he seemed so pathetic. He had a lot of issues with various substances.

He tried to get back together after that but it was like something had just clicked in my brain and I was over him.

We separated almost 4 years ago and I'm still dealing with the psychological effects.

Four and a half years but there are always remnants of it, I still have enormous trust issues.

I am happily married now to someone else and when he comes to collect the children I think what the hell did I spend all that time crying over you for. But the damage is still there. I’ve become very much hardened over the years.

Following closely.

It totally depends.

Have you been seeing them for 6 months or married for 20 years?

I am not sure you should be looking to completely heal but learning to accept it and moving on with indifference. I occasionally get upset about events that happened in my teens, forty years ago!

I think from the initial heartbreak of being dumped it took maybe 4 years, when I started a relationship with the man I married.I realised I felt indifferent when I saw him 7 years later and realised I no longer wanted to be with him, but I did get in a few barbed comments which met their target, so still felt angry. Actually it annoys me to think about it now!

About 2 months. But then when someone leaves me i cut them out my life completely. The last 7 years of relationship didnt exist as far as inam concerned. My ex would like to be friends but he doesn't get that opportunity with me. We went friends before so we sure as hell wont be after

12 months. It took me 6 months to recover from the worst of it , the sort of emotional blindness you suffer where you can't function properly. And a further 6 months to forget I even knew him. My boss gave me this book , which started off by you plotting where on the " Broken Heart Curve" you were and then taking the steps suggested in the book. I was still in stage two ; a mess of snot and tears and unable to think straight so I took the advice in the book and just did what it said. It was a trail of breadcrumps into the sunshine and it worked.

I thought I'd be utterly heartbroken when I split with my ex. Room about 2 days to get out of the can't function stage. Couldn't stand the fucker 3 months later

A proper broken heart - an utterly shocking and nasty event of betrayal etc - you don't "get over". You do learn to live with it so that you're ok and it no longer impedes you day to day life.

FWIW, I found the lesson useful, it made me stronger with the word "no" and putting my needs ahead of a man's wants.

OP, you'll be fine eventually. Possibly better than you were. I would caution you, do keep your wits about you in the direct aftermath though - abusers sense vulnerability and often make their move at this time, under the guise of the "rescuer". 💐

(I felt quite "normal" again at 3 months though).

@PicsInRed

Wise words indeed!

@PicsInRed yes definitely! I know that I will never ever allow myself to be treated in that way again.

I know that I am ok on my own and it is ok to be alone. I also know that the age old term ‘time heals’ is true. It takes time and don’t be dictated by people that say you should be over this by now. There is no time limit on how to feel better.

I genuinely think if my ex partner had died I would have been able to come to terms with it quicker than I did. One day we were living together the next week he moved out I was a single parent. It was the sheer disbelief that I couldn’t get over.

Looking back without rose tinted glasses I can see how I wasn’t that happy, I was never my genuine self with him.

I’m now married to someone who loves me, doesn’t ask to me to change and I really hope that this lasts. But if it doesn’t. I will be OK.