Moving back to London

[Charli125]

Really need some advice. Two years ago I left London with my three children, two in their teens and one aged 10. As soon as we moved my daughter has developed Anorexia and we have had a terrible time. Her only wish is to return to London. My dilemma is can you move back? Were they too old for such a move to the country. I had visions of them playing in the garden and embracing country life but in fact all they want is their old life back and shops etc.. Can anyone offer any advice, gratefully received. Thanks, Charli

That's so helpful, thank you. I feel exactly the same, we feel we are not in the right place, after two years I'm still looking at people thinking 'why do you live here'. I will miss my beautiful garden and dog walks though.

I also suffer from panic attacks, which were bad in London and bad here, so wherever I am, I feel slightly trapped!!

@CatAndHisKit My three children are happy to go back, husband on the other hand not happy!!

@PamDemic
Thanks so much for sharing your story, it's good to know that you've gone through this. Your not wrong about house prices, I can't even afford my old house back!

How old are your kids? If they're already studying gcse or a level courses it could be tricky

My eldest daughter is 15 and is doing GCSEs this year, but has missed almost two years of school due to illness, so not sure how that will turn out. My youngest daughter is 12 so just begun year 8. My son is 21 so not really an issue, as he is moving back to London regardless. Yes schools will be a nightmare. When we there before they were all in catholic schools, but now that's not an option as we've spent the last two years in and out of hospital, so haven't been to church!!

Very tricky if husband not happy. I thought you were happ yto stay but now have seen that yo udon't like it there really either. Is ther a compromise of living halfway between relatives/ countyrside and London? So DD can visit friends every w/end?

I think you have to be careful not to idolise london and blame the move entirely for your daughter’s problems. It won’t necessarily be an easy quick-win as others have said. What would your budget get you, what would schools be like? How does your youngest daughter feel? You could be uprooting her at a critical point to benefit your elder daughter when you don’t know if it will make a difference. What is it about London that your daughter wants to return to? How sure are you that she wouldn’t have developed anorexia regardless of location?

It’s not a backward step at all. It’s great to know what you want, even if it means having to try other things to find that out.

Why don't you consider renting out your current home & moving into a rental house in London? You could hVe the location you desire without worrying Bout prices. And when the children move out for uni you have the option to move back to your current house or to buy a smaller property in London at the time which may be more affordable & also practical.

Did your daughter tell you her anorexia was because of the move OP? Are you right in the Countryside where it’s quite secluded? Depending on what part of London you mode from it’s a big change from city living.

Has your daughter not made friends at school now? At almost 15 friends will move around and may go onto studying and working.

@Holiday21plea - Yes my daughter says living here has made her very unhappy, she adores London. She gets the train back at weekends and just walks around for hours. She hasn't made any friends at her new school as it's been so disrupted and she's hardly been there for any length of time. My other daughter has made friends, so that is tricky, however she does still miss all her friends in London. So confused!!!

Some people are just city people. I agree that you can’t idolise London or expect it to be the miracle cure but you might just be happier.

@PamDemic - When you moved back after five years, did you feel sad/confused or were you 100% certain with your decision?

It’s hard because you want your children to be happy as a mum. I think if you have moved rural that’s the issue here rather than the city.

Children think as kids. So long term would they be able to secure a good job in London along with living costs OP? That would be my worry.

@PamDemic - I realise it's a personal question, but did you move back to London on your own, or did your marriage break down after you returned. Thanks

@Holiday21plea - Thanks for your input! To be honest, I have found the cost of living more expensive out of London. Council tax and bills were far cheaper in London, it was mainly just parking that was expensive.

Your right, I want my kids to be happy. Many friends say I should put my life first as they will grow up and be gone but it's easy to say when they haven't got a very depressed child!!

@JoJoSM2 - Thank you!

Hi Charli, Just seen your post as I was Googling about this very topic! I decided to log in and reply. Did you move back? Hope your daughter is ok now? I’m a Londoner (born & bred) and still miss London, 14 years on! We moved from NE London to Tunbridge Wells - lovely area, safe, excellent schools, access to countryside and an hour to the coast. I’m often on Right Move keeping an eye on the London property market! I feel we can’t move back as DD all settled and at a super school, but seriously thinking about doing when she goes off to college/uni. My family are in London - Camden & Edgeware Rd areas. We originally moved here as my DM was living on the coast and ended up moving back to London! I’m always visiting family/doing day trips to London during the holidays (out of Covid etc), but am worried about London crime. I feel here (TW) it’s too small town/reserved for me to stay forever!