Does anyone get tearful or feel down around their birthday?

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

I turn 40 on Sunday and have felt really down and tearful today. Theres so much hype and expectation and I know I will hate the day itself and the unwanted attention but at the same time il feel sad that some people will have not made the effort. I don't know why I get like this every year although this year is definitely the worsed!!!

@PurplePansy05

Me. Because for two years in a row, I was supposed to be pregnant and happily expecting on my birthday, but I miscarried three times before my birthday. Now I feel old (mid 30s), childless and utterly miserable.

I feel the same, every year I feel really low and so glad its over. I think its because no one bothers or celebrates it (very few family, single parent).

Last year I bought myself a pizza in tesco and ate it on the sofa by myself, work gave me a little gift which was really kind.

It just signifies another year of not finding a partner, not getting a better paid job etc. I am trying with both of these!

I hate my birthday too. End of February so everyone is in a mood and sick of winter and they don't want to celebrate. Can't even run away on holiday because the costs have doubled for Feb half term. Instead I now celebrate mine with dh on his birthday beginning of sept.

What were your birthdays like as a child OP?

Mine were full of anxiety as my parents were divorced and I never saw my mum on the day, so I felt really sad. As an adult I’ve hated every single birthday and only at the age of 54, finally understood why.

Next year, I think because I know why I feel like a do, I may be ok.

Growing up my parents made a fuss of our birthdays

Since being single my birthdays are just days of sadness No one to make any sort of gesture. Every year I stupidly wake up with a flutter of excitement but it's a day like any other.

People message me but all the comments hoping I'm being spoiled rotten, etc just twist the knife.

I spent my birthday this year with a quick ready meal from M & S which I sat and ate with tears rolling down my cheeks b

I had normal happy birthdays so nothing stands out, but I have developed anxiety as I've got older so wondering if that's part of it. I could happily spend tomorrow 3in bed 😔

Yes, I get down around my birthday and Christmas because they signify another year with no baby. Last year's (when I turned 31) was the hardest as my SIL had not long given birth to my nephew and I just felt shite all day! This one wasn't as bad because we were in lockdown and I could avoid it all! I hope you have a happy birthday x

I don’t like birthdays or Christmas, I think it’s because I have anxiety and don’t like attention limelight.
As I’ve got older 63
I’ve become less social ! but because of having sisters, sending cards and texts even meals out (I don’t do meals out) it’s all seems more than I want.

Also dp is the opposite,
It’s where we going for your birthday
What do you want for your birthday
Are we getting a cake
Sings happy birthday @ 8am, I’m half a sleep
Aghhhh NO

I feel I have to go along with things, then I’m that anxious I start to nit pick on him. Like
Why you getting dressed up!
Stop making mountains, it’s only a birthday
Why do you have to be so jolly.

I’ve never been one for limelight even my wedding day, really hated all the fuss and socialising(which I didn’t really, thinking back)
It was the thing to do where I worked, large all girl office where all had church wedding
If you didn’t, you’d stand right out.

Suppose it’s a confidence thing with me, the older the worse I get.

Not on my birthday but I feel like this every New Year's Eve when the clock strikes. It's got worse as I get older and I prefer to sleep through it now.

I always find my birthday difficult because DH died the day before. It casts a long shadow. Even though it will be 29 years ago next month, I still miss him terribly, and the anniversary is painful.
My adult DDs always give me a lovely day with a meal, presents, and a day out - or a trip abroad for round number birthdays, but I feel I’m trying to go through the motions and appear suitably festive, even though inside I’m grieving. All I really want for my birthday is DH alive again, the one thing I can’t have. The DDs were babies when he died, so have no memory of him at all.

Interesting reading these!

I feel sad on/around my birthday, too (also my children’s birthdays, and Christmas although with Christmas increasingly the business/tiredness/relief cycle overshadows any actual emotion!).

For me, it’s definitely not to do with it being a reminder that my life isn’t what I expected, or would like, it to be - on a normal day to day basis I’m actually really content and feel truly fortunate for what I have. Some of it is perhaps singleness - maybe this is a day when having a partner who (fairly obviously/uncontroversially) ‘should’ make it feel special, makes a big difference; but again, in normal life I’m perfectly happy being single, and actually when I was in relationships I still had morose birthdays!

I do strongly recognise not feeling comfortable being centre of attention and perhaps this is part of it. My childhood memories are very, very limited (a psychologist I briefly spent some time under regarded this as significant, but I’m less sure) and I don’t really remember what my birthdays were like, I can remember having parties and my mum baking a cake but little else, good or bad.

I’ve done a lot of work on being able to communicate directly what I want, but I’m still not reliably good at actually identifying what I feel or want - this may also be part of it I think.

Big hugs to everyone I do feel pathetic being down when I have lots to be great full for. Reading this as reminded me that I feel the same at Christmas and new years eve. It's almost a anti climax. I always feel sad and disappointed but having to put a fake smile. Not disappointed with gifts I don't know its strange. Maybe it is evalu my life, remembering the feeling of being young and excites but now feeling sad because loved ones aren't here to celebrate with you. I don't know I feel like a brat tk be honest.