Son’s trainers thrown in river.

[Fridgeandkitchen]

After school today. There was a bit of play but in the end my son was held down, his trainers taken off and then thrown into the river by a boy from school. They tried to find them but they’ve been washed away.

I’ve messaged the mother of the boy asking that he go back and find them. What would you have done and what would you expect if they aren’t found? Thank you.

Well I wouldn't have done that. If he sees them floating in the middle of the river, is he supposed to try to retrieve them? It's a bit of a stupid and dangerous thing to ask. I would expect an apology and an offer to replace. That is, if she believes your son over hers...

Well are you 100% sure your sons version of events is the correct version, thats the first problem. Second problem you have asked a child to go to a river in the dark and look for the trainers they couldn't find immediately after the event, which is a silly and irresponsible request.

What nasty behaviour. That doesn’t sound like a bit of play, it sounds really mean to me.

I don’t know what I would expect in this situation. If my son had done it I would be expecting him to pay out of his saved money/pocket money to replace the shoes and I’d want him to apologise to the boy, but the other mother might not be willing to do this and I’m not sure where else you could take it.

Hope your son is okay.

They need to replace them if your sons version is correct. Depending on the age of the children would determine anything other actions I'd take.

This isn't a bit of play. This is bullying. I'd be contacting the school and picking up before and after school if i could. If i couldn't id be looking at other options

Hazelnutlatteplease - this didn’t happen at school. What would you expect school to do about something that happened outside of school hours and outside of school property?

@Justnotfeelingit

Hazelnutlatteplease - this didn’t happen at school. What would you expect school to do about something that happened outside of school hours and outside of school property?

Because, while they are wearing school uniform, they represent the school. Bullying doesn’t stop at either side of the school gates so the school should be informed. They will certainly be interested, unless they’re a shitty school.

Bullies can behave the way they do because of things happening to them at home.

I would imagine the safeguarding lead at school would want to know about this incident as it may trigger concern for the welfare of the children in that household or they may know stuff about the child’s home life that would explain it.

To pin someone down and steal from them is assault. If they had done that to an adult like me I’d be right on to the police. I don’t know much about children in this position though It sounds quite traumatic, even if it was just hijinks. Can it be assault when it’s child to child?

I’m not sure if the police are the answer or not tbh. Nobody wants a child to end up in the system with a criminal record (dependant on age) if there is another way it could be dealt with.

Perhaps the school can offer advice when you speak to them as this won’t be the first time they have heard of such a thing?

If the trainers were dear I’d be raging.

If this happened to students at my school and the OP contacted their pastoral liason staff would be notified to keep an eye out for any other bullying behaviour and the students kept separate in class if that's what the OP and their child wanted.

Ask her to replace them with an identical pair of the same trainers or you will replace them and bill her for them.

I would definitely inform the school.
I’m not sure what sort of ‘play’ involves holding someone down, removing their shoes and throwing them in water.