The worst virus for you - Lighthearted!

[Phial]

I've been thinking, that of course I appreciate the terrible things this virus is doing to communities, families, the economy, but the actual rules - socialise in small groups, stay at home, go for walks, are not as bad for me as they may be for some.
So I thought what would be a worse virus for me, and I wondered if others had ideas.
So to start.

1. The virus tends to pick off individuals, especially outdoors

To combat it, you must stay in groups of at least 16 at all times, when outside your own home, and for added protection, you must be touching at least four people at all times. This includes when shopping and where possible, at work. Local Whatsapp groups will be set up to organise taking out the bins, etc.

[Greentulips1]

A virus that is cured by eating mushrooms.

(I just hate those sluggy vegetables)

[SteveArnottsbeadyeyes]

The virus is spread by drinking wine! Therefore all wine is quarantined until further notice.

[Phial]

With you on both of those actually. Could I drink gin?

[SteveArnottsbeadyeyes]

Gin is allowed, but in very high demand - so can only be purchased by either driving to your local gin centre - or by applying online. There rather a shortage.

[Phial]

My local gin centre is more than 100 miles away, I just checked online. I am trying to get a slot at a nearer one but no luck so far. I might wait until I have 2 weeks of vouchers and then go.

[DeeDimer]

Familial contact stops the spread so we'd have to spend lots of intense, indoor time with the in-laws.

[TweetUsOnFacebook]

The virus spreads unless you have a builder in your house at all times. Banging, drilling, stomping around in massive boots, playing the radio at a million decibels, joking about the kettle being broken, using the loo (the horror!) and spreading dust everywhere.

(Sorry to my builder who is actually very lovely, but I've had enough now!)