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Original poster

Sacrificing living space for location

18 replies

Fruitteatime · 30/09/2020 22:56

In this scenario would you choose town A or town B. Town A is where we currently live as a family of four in a two bed flat. It is a town we really love, with brilliant schools and amenities. The downside is we can't currently afford a 3 bed with a garden here and aren't likely to for around 3 years and we feel very squashed. Dp now has the opportunity to work from home so we are considering moving 2 hours away to town B. We would be closer to both sets of parents who also have long term health conditions. The downsides of this decision is that the schools are only ok and whilst the town B has a lot to offer in terms of amenities everything is spread far apart and we would spend a lot of time driving. I really hate getting in the car. In addition dp would be more limited in work opportunities should he want to move on from his current role. Town B is where we both grew up and I am not sure if this is a good or a bad thing.

I wondered whether others would prioritise a comfortable house over schools and area? Have you made a similar decision and how did/do you know you made the right decision?

OP posts:
Stompythedinosaur · 30/09/2020 23:30

It depends a bit on the ages of the dc.

I would say wfh would be hard in a small property with two kids.

Varjakpaw · 30/09/2020 23:33

It would definitely depend on the age of the children. However that said we moved nearer to family for more space and after 4 years moved back to less space but an area we love with brilliant schools. Every decision has to be specifically about you.

Porridgeoat · 30/09/2020 23:40

Stick with town A and have a radicle sort through everything you own and get rid of plenty to create space

Bikingbear · 30/09/2020 23:45

Depends on age of kids, primary or younger I'd move I'm not so sure I'd move teens.

I'm of the view teachers are pretty much the same regardless of school, so I don't really get the good school / ok schools / poor schools thing, I think a lot of the time the real difference is external tutors.

Work wise, I think the days of 9-5 / 5 days in offices are gone permanently. People will end up with a blend of 2/3 day in office 2/3 days at home.
Nobody can say their job is 100% secure.
If he was to end up moving job, would you be able to afford for him to have a night in a hotel if he needed to?

What about you will you be able to get work?

Lots to think about

pilautalk · 01/10/2020 00:00

I would choose town A. We're in a large flat as a family of 4, no garden. It's not ideal and we probably will move in the next few years, but we'd always prioritise top schools and I'd never move to somewhere that had worse schools. We're in an area with excellent amenities and transport links, and I don't think I'd ever compromise on those either (I don't drive at all). It's brilliant having everything on your doorstep, especially when you have young dc and don't have the time to be rushing around to different places.

I think you could also potentially regret it in future if you move somewhere with worse job opportunities. Depends on his sector/role etc but nationally, unemployment will be going up in the next few years.

BackforGood · 01/10/2020 00:18

Reading between the lines of your post, I'm feeling you really don't want to move to Town B, and it is what you (and your dh) both want that is important.

For me, I can't imagine living in a 2 bed flat with 4 people, including one working from home, and also having no garden, so, from where I am, I'd choose Town B, but what makes me happy isn't necessarily the same as what is going to make you happy.

I will ask too - does it have to be such a stark choice? Is there not a possible compromise ?

omega3 · 01/10/2020 01:08

'It is a town we really love, with brilliant schools and amenities.'

In your situation I'd stay in town A. Could you move to a slightly larger flat? Perhaps near to a park or other outdoor space?

notangelinajolie · 01/10/2020 01:13

A. Location & schools wins.

Ghosts2020 · 01/10/2020 01:33

I'd say stay, look at bedroom splitting options and start getting your finances in order to move to a bigger space

JoJoSM2 · 01/10/2020 13:53

I agree with BackforGood

I couldn’t live in a a 2-bed flat with family but it doesn’t sound like you want to move.

Realistically, it would also make sense to explore other locations that you might be able to afford and will work for you.

Original poster
Fruitteatime · 01/10/2020 16:22

It's a real dilemma for me. Interesting that lots of pp think that I want to stay put! Flat is definitely feeling too small, there are not enough bedrooms and I really miss riding my bike as there is no outside storage here.

If we move to another town we lose the benefits of being near family. Health problems mean they can't come to stay with us anymore.

Additionally town A does have good amenities for primary aged children but perhaps not so for teenagers.

In terms of work for me town B has more prospects in customer services or social care as it is about 10 times larger than town A.

OP posts:
Bikingbear · 01/10/2020 17:01

Op I think you are hankering after being nearer your parents esp if they are unable to travel to you.

How old are your kids?
I'm slightly surprised that town B is less suited to family life than town A as its bigger. I'd expect a bigger town to have better facilities.

It sounds like town A is a small middle class town, with town B being bigger with wider income ranges. Those sorts of towns usually have a mix of really nice pockets and some rougher areas.

I think I'd move. I moved from a town A to a nice part of town B and love town B, I never really fitted in, in with the Jones's in town A!

QuentinWinters · 01/10/2020 17:07

I'd move to be closer to family. I really regret not living nearer mine

Original poster
Fruitteatime · 01/10/2020 17:18

@Bikingbear you've hit the nail on the head regarding the types of towns. I didn't mean to suggest town B is worse for amenities, it is definitely better but would require driving potentially even to schools and parks depending on which nice area we choose to live in. The schools are definitely bigger and ofsted rating plus my experience of one of the better ones is putting me off a lot. They decent schools though just not as good/ highly regarded as the ones in town A.

I am worried about dp potentially struggling to finding work should he need to in town B as he has looked before. Although we could potentially facilitate him staying overnight once a week in a hotel for a job that would be partly working from home. In Town B we could easily afford a study plus 3 bedrooms with his current salary.

On paper it feels like no brainer to move, in reality town A is home and we are all really settled here (space problems aside).

OP posts:
Bikingbear · 01/10/2020 18:33

It really comes down to do you want to be beside family or not.

The schools is a tough one, but kids are mean regardless of area. Some schools are better dealing with it than others. I think kids who are able and want to do well will do so regardless or school.

HappyDinosaur · 01/10/2020 18:42

I'd say B, your home and space has a huge impact on your life. Also, schools change so much in a very short amount of time and Ofsted ratings are not the be all and end all in my experience.

Original poster
Fruitteatime · 19/10/2020 20:23

Well it seems we are staying put in town A for now. I think it'd be easier to know if we were in a bigger place because then I could tell if it was the cheaper housing attracting me to area B or the pull of family connections.

OP posts:
Ellmau · 19/10/2020 23:34

I would go for B - you sound quite cramped where you are now.

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