2yrs9m old not following instructions in group activities

[bingoncbeebies]

Can anyone offer some advice? My 2years and 9 months old listens to me and can follow instruction like "please put that in the bin" "hold my hand" "stop there!" "Can you get a cucumber from the shelf" (in the shops for example) etc. She's bright, but her speech is a little behind and she still babbles a bit.

But at structured classes like tennis or ballet, both of which are full of other well behaved 2-3yr olds, my DD just cannot or does not want to listen or participate. She has a meltdown at being told to do something by the teacher and/or goes off to do her own thing. It's really embarrassing and I feel sorry for DD that she's not getting the experience the others are.

What am I doing wrong with her here??

The only thing you are doing wrong is expecting a 2 year old to follow classes. Don't worry, why don't you try doing things that involve more free play? I know there isn't much around at the moment which makes it hard.

Expecting too much of a 2 year old?

Some children are naturally more biddable and will happily sit and listen in those sorts of classes. Other have different personality types and aren't so keen. You happen to have one that doesn't, so I'd suggest giving classes a miss until she is older and stick with more unstructured play.

(and be aware that the other parents with DC that won't sit still just aren't taking them to these sorts of classes - which is why you're feeling like the odd one out!).

@OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea has it right.

She's not ready.
Probably easier said than done at the moment, but sounds like she needs free play sort of groups rather than tennis or ballet.

I didn't know children that young had structured classes like that.

I think she is a bit young, honestly. You can do dancing with her at home and play 'batting balls' in the garden (or indoors, there is 'safe' equipment), which she probably would enjoy more because of not being 'instructed'.

When I was nine years and two months my mind used to wander during group activities at school and I was always being told off because of not doing stuff correctly :-). Your daughter has a long way to go, don't worry. Let her lead you to what she likes doing.

A 2 year old is far too young for structured classes. My advice is to stop sending her.

Agee with above posters. You aren't doing anything wrong, she's just too young to be expected to behave appropriately in group structures like that. Let her do her own thing for right now, there's plenty of time for her to figure out activities like that.

You're expecting her to be someone she's not.

She's TWO. She wants to explore the world in her own way, at her own pace. She has her whole bloody life to confirm & do as she's told by a teacher, boss...

As long as she can follow instructions (like putting the rubbish in the bin) and understands clear instructions 'STOP' then you need to back off & let her be.

If you want 'groups' then pick ones that are child led, not adult instructed (don't go anywhere near tumble tots).

Honestly, she's a perfectly normal 2 (almost 3) year old. Just ENJOY her!!

Thank you for the reassurance everyone! The ballet classes are done at her preschool so I have no control over that, I just hear that she cries and doesn't follow the rules, but have seen it for myself at tennis and playball, both of which I've given up and stopped her going to because it's such a drama at the moment.

It just seems like she's the only one of all the children who doesn't want to be there or listen to the teacher.

No soft play is open near us at the moment which is making life pretty difficult! But we do get to the playground everyday.

My dd is around the same age and I don't take her to structured classes for this exact reason! Only places where she can do her own thing alongside/with other kids doing their own thing.

structured classes

^

Forget this till they're 6/7

She's a toddler! She's meant to be rampant

My DS is exactly the same. He’s 2.5. We take him to a few activities (toddler music, forest school) and all the others seem to do what they’re told whereas DS just wants to do his own thing. His language is actually really advanced so it’s not an understanding thing, but socially he seems a lot less mature than others of his age. He’s never been to nursery (had a nanny until my mat leave with baby 2) so I have wondered whether some of the other kids are just more used to that kind of environment.

I’m not worried in the slightest - he’s only 2, he has years ahead of him to follow the crowd and it doesn’t even start to be an issue until school.