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Missing my little girl

4 replies

Cathysaf · 30/09/2020 11:45

Hello Mumsnet I thought I would write this to see see if it would help me feel any better.?? My daughters nearly 4 we had a though IVF which took 4 years. ! Which I think is part of the problem as the time just seemed to really fly by once we bring her into this world! I didn't realiseI woud miss each stage so much! and how fast the time seems to roll on by constantly ! I look back and there's a lot of things I would do different now I guess as a first-time Mum you very nervous sometimes and worried.! I've always thought I have to appreciate her so hard all the time and make the most of our time together and Ido much as I cam with her ! When she was very small I use to take her to as many playsgroups and things as I coukd ! And we got a little membership at the soft play at down road and I was always take the to parks things abd different activities that I can find. We meet uo with her with her cousins and little friends we made along the way! and days when it was just us we would go Museum of Childhood or Discovery and watch the tiger came for tea or Olympic Park I tried to felt up a lot of fun things to do euth her the fun places always! I constantly feel sad and depressed that time just flies by I know that's the way it's supposed to go! there's supposed to grow up quickly but I didn't realise how hard it would be she went to nursery part-time and September last year but now gose full time.9 till 3pm. And I am happy for her because she is enjoying it and making friends and I can see how much she's loving it ! but I also feel quite sad empty at home without her and I don't know what to do with myself I know it's normal to feel like this and I would never stop any her from having fun and being happy. I just feel like all the time I should have appreciated her more should have done this more should have done more . I 'm sad that so much time has gone by . maybe I just feel lost without her. But I think part of the problem is that it took so long to have her and we had 3 miscarriages and it has struggled to had enough another baby even though I'm blessed to have her it's still hard when you struggle with that department ! I don't regard to people having babies so beautiful thing but it's so hard when everybody around you and I do mean everybody family or friends or friends of Friends is having babies everywhere it just feel so hard sometimes even though I have nothing against people I don't know why but I felt very sad the last few days maybe because I think we can have anymore ! and we've had a rough time of it this year as I've recently had my thyroid removed because I've had abnormal cells and cancer scare everything else but I just wish I had appreciate it also much more I didn't realise it was all rushed past so fast I guess.

OP posts:
JimmyTheBrave · 30/09/2020 12:55

In fairness OP it does sound like you did appreciate the time.

You certainly did loads more than I did with my DC at that age (I didn't bother with playgroups) so don't beat yourself up for not doing enough. There will be plenty of opportunities to do fun and exciting things with your 4 year old, and also get to know her personality as she develops.

I often feel sad when I think back to the newborn days when everything seemed much easier, but in reality I know there were aspects of parenting that I struggled with then that I no longer have to deal with now (sleep depravation being the main one)!

Ohalrightthen · 30/09/2020 12:59

Thyroid issues can cause low mood/depression, it may be worth speaking to your GP.

Also, if you're feeling lost/purposeless now she's a bit bigger, it might be time to look into getting back to work or volunteering or similar. It's really not healthy for anyone in the family to have mum's whole life revolve around her DC.

singtanana · 30/09/2020 14:06

Hey, my DD is the same age and I too am amazed at how time has flown. My DD could go to nursery full time in terms of funding however I asked if I could pick her up before lunch twice a week so I could have time with her. They happily accommodated this and now on my days off work we have lunch together and can do things in the afternoon. Would that be an option?

pandamoniummm · 30/09/2020 14:22

You sound like a wonderful lovely mummy who has given her daughter so much precious time and love and attention xx

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