How long do you sit around for in the evening?

[inthethickofit19]

I work 3 days and have a 3 and 1 year old. Both 'spirited' children. They have multiple allergies and various medications etc. Completely separate diet to us. On my non working days, its pretty full on.

I used to follow the rule that once they are in bed, I will do f all and sit and relax.

But I can't get anything I need to done. Exercise, self care, quick chores, light pottering etc. It's causing me more stress.

It got me wondering how people spend their evenings?

Ds asleep by 8. 8-9 doing jobs e.g preparation for the next morning, any remaining washing up. 9-10 chill on sofa with a peppermint tea. 10 upstairs for a shower and in bed around 10:15.

I aim to sit down by 8

Now my son is 6 and an independent reader, we tend to get him into bed for 7.30. I'm usually sat down by 8ish after doing a few jobs, in bed by 10pm.

All I can say is your children are much younger and bedtimes took longer due to baths and reading time. We could never get him down early due to us both working full time and him returning from nursery at 6pm.

All I can say is try to get their bedtimes as early as you can, and try for an hour to yourself 9-10pm each night. It will pass.

I try and get everything sorted by 9 so i can sit for an hour/hour and a half and watch tv.

Once my children are in bed, at 8-8.30, dh & I have our tea and then sit down to do rest. We go to bed at midnight or thereabouts. I don't think we've ever had so much housework to do that means we still have loads to do in the evening but maybe we're just slobs 🤷

The only days I even come close to sitting around is Friday and Saturday and that’s only from about 8:30/9pm.

Other days I work in the evenings after dc are in bed and do some things around the house. I can’t quite imagine a life with evening free, even just to do housework. Dh and I have always had to work.

Can you set aside 20 minutes to get jobs done and then make the rest of it time for you? Even in our very busy lives, I don’t tend to need more than that in the evenings for tidying up and house stuff.

I chill from 7-10pm. I make sure I do all chores etc when kids are up so that I can. Even if it means half an hour of telly here and there!

@ritzbiscuits

Now my son is 6 and an independent reader, we tend to get him into bed for 7.30. I'm usually sat down by 8ish after doing a few jobs, in bed by 10pm.

All I can say is your children are much younger and bedtimes took longer due to baths and reading time. We could never get him down early due to us both working full time and him returning from nursery at 6pm.

All I can say is try to get their bedtimes as early as you can, and try for an hour to yourself 9-10pm each night. It will pass.

Thank you. They are both usually asleep by 8. Younger one is usually asleep 7:30.

@TwoZeroTwoZero

Once my children are in bed, at 8-8.30, dh & I have our tea and then sit down to do rest. We go to bed at midnight or thereabouts. I don't think we've ever had so much housework to do that means we still have loads to do in the evening but maybe we're just slobs 🤷

I'm sure you aren't slobs lol but with two little ones a tidy house can be upside down within minutes and it's like shovelling snow so easier just to occupy them and dash around after. But I don't always do this and then it starts the next day off badly

@mindutopia

The only days I even come close to sitting around is Friday and Saturday and that’s only from about 8:30/9pm.

Other days I work in the evenings after dc are in bed and do some things around the house. I can’t quite imagine a life with evening free, even just to do housework. Dh and I have always had to work.

Can you set aside 20 minutes to get jobs done and then make the rest of it time for you? Even in our very busy lives, I don’t tend to need more than that in the evenings for tidying up and house stuff.

Thanks I will try this. It works for quick tidy of the dishes but things like tidying laundry away or mopping or putting things where they belong often get left

@namechangefail2020

I chill from 7-10pm. I make sure I do all chores etc when kids are up so that I can. Even if it means half an hour of telly here and there!

How old are your kids? This is what I try to do but the younger dc is just 1.5 and at the stage where he runs around messing everything up so I literally can't leave him to do housework! I sometimes manage a few mins whilst eating but recently he starts messing around and throwing plate etc 🤦‍♀️ think it's just the awkward stage.

I remember it got easier as my eldest approached his second birthday so hoping it'll be the same now!

DD goes to bed at 7.30, but you have to sit with her until she’s asleep so can be there up to 9pm. Then we have 9-10.30 to relax/ watch TV/ read, and go to bed around 10.30. However, DH and I alternate bedtimes, so I use the nights that he does bedtime to do a quick tidy up/ dishes and wipe down kitchen/ housework/ admin/ online groceries etc. Usually get these jobs finished by 9. It’s a bit depressing, really!

Do try to prioritise your rest even if the house is messy.

My kids are older now and it’s so much better - this will pass I promise.

@Handsoffisback

Oh my goodness ellie that sounds tough. 1.5 hr bedtime?! How old is she?

I’ve probably made it sound worse than it is! DD is five. She’s usually in bed by around 8, depending on whether she gets undressed/ brushes teeth etc the first time we ask her or the tenth time! Then you have to sit in the room with her. It’s a catch-22 situation as I think having someone in the room disturbs her, but she gets upset if you leave. Then you have to wait until she’s in a deep sleep (she’s a light sleeper and we have creaky floors). So on a good evening you can get out by 8.30, but if she’s been difficult to get to bed and restless once in bed, it can be later.

It really cuts into the evening. We did manage to get to having one of us sitting upstairs in our bedroom when she went to sleep, which was nice as you could sit and relax, but that went downhill when the schools closed in March and we haven’t had the mental energy to try again - both struggling a bit in lockdown.

I sit for minutes at a time. If I'm watching something I'll use my tablet leaving me mobile to fold the washing.
Organise uniform pack lunches etc. As far as self care goes I can't be bothering lately.
I had a me routine whereas I done 5 things for me a week nails one day eyebrows the next exfoliation etc.I felt better for it.
I must restart it.
It's tough with young DC OP.
Try a routine board in 2 years it'll be much easier.

Generally catch the last 20 minutes of "My 600lb Life!", that's about it.

I have had kids now grown up but worked full time so I'd do the absolute minimum. Get everything ready for the next day, sometimes wash up sometimes not, clean up after ancient cat as very messy in the litter tray. Everything else can wait until the next day or the weekend. I aim to sit by 9 and have two hours doing either nothing or a hobby.

8-10pm is my sit down and chill time. Mu children are 2yrs, 3yrs and 5yrs and go to bed at 6.30pm (sleep by 7pm) so i tend to have an hour of doing chores.

3 DC under 7. Toddler is in bed at 7, 2 older ones at 8.
Then DH and I divide and conquer. He cleans the kitchen and I sort living room and playroom. He Usually both sat down by 8.45 unless DH goes to the gym (I go early morning).

Dinner starts cooking at 4pm sharp, whilst it’s cooking very quick tidy up, and spruce around. When dishing the dinner up all the things I used to cook with goes straight in the dishwasher, after dinner everything goes in the dishwasher and the kitchen is closed.

My kids have water bottles that they can fill as much as they like and dessert or snacks are things that doesn’t require a plate or cutlery.

6pm they get everything ready for school the next day, my youngest is young so I do that, then it’s brush teeth and in pjs at 6:15.

Then I’m done for the day, the kids are then allowed their iPads, tv or any technology if they wish. Nothing goes on a moment before that, not even the tv, this helps so when I’m ready to stop and relax they do too as they can sit and watch tv then.

7:30 up to bed- 8:30 lights out. I’ve already rested by then so that’s when I potter or do things I enjoy.

The trick is to be organised and strict I guess??

I sit down 7.30/8.00.

Dinner is 6-6.30
Then tv / homework while I clear up.
DS2 goes to bed about 8

After that I will bath / read / watch TV. I go to bed at 10.

Oh my god I barely do anything in the evenings around the house!
Probably an hour in bits, I don’t often cook (dh does, I don’t order takeaway for the kids every night 😂) and we have a cleaner - I sort washing, hoover through downstairs, have a quick tidy up etc but definitely nothing longer than an hour in total.
I do however get up early and do the bulk of anything before I go to work - precisely so that I can make the most of the evenings relaxing/playing and hanging out with the dc and also doing my own things.
I have 2 teens who do their own washing, make their own lunches and get themselves to school/college and a younger child who I do those things for.
It has got much easier as they’ve gotten older. Bedtime for the youngest is a story and tucked into bed, 10 minutes max unless he’s having a chapter of Harry Potter with his dad.

What’s this? People sit in the evening?!

Honestly, like a PP this only happens for me on maybe a Friday/Saturday. I work FT but having to work around school runs due to lockdowns and WFH means I work every evening, also do housework etc., occasionally exercise (tho I mostly do this early morning before DD wakes). I’m bloody exhausted.

@Ilovesausages

Do try to prioritise your rest even if the house is messy.

My kids are older now and it’s so much better - this will pass I promise.

Thanks so much. Needed to hear that!