I'm in charge of 6 people's lives

[DamsonInGin]

And I feel I've bricked myself into a corner prison

No idea how I'm going to get through it, or what lies on the other side.

I'm feeling pretty glass half empty to be honest.

If I tell you the good stuff first it might cheer me up enough to joke about the rest?

Moved into a house we've wanted for two years just before lockdown. Have a long 20+ year relationship with DP who is incredibly positive and not an Eeyore like me. Have my health and don't have Covid. Our house has space and the area is beautiful and what we wanted, no regrets there. My DPs have recently come to live here because they could no longer cope and have gone downhill in lockdown.

This is the list of what I am contending with at the moment though (at least one refers to me).

Dyslexia, dementia, ADHD, Parkinson's disease, sightloss, menopause, autism, ADHD again, OCD, undiagnosed tourettes, restless legs, deafness, UTIs, depression, the total annihilation of our industry with no future (company with DP), feeling unemployable, apathy, stir crazy, broke, being a carer, adolescence, senility, oh and DP broke a tooth on a piece of glass in a sandwich yesterday :-(

Today I was planning on progressing a small business idea and pursuing some part time work and some paperwork for our business. Instead I have dealt with the older members of the family all day with medical visits, sorting never ending admin, resolving arguments, and making phonecalls. I've had two DCs home with non-covid related illness and I'm just DREADING what I'll do if one of them gets an actual temperature.

I have hidden in the bedroom and checked out of dinner. I'm starting to wonder what I'm getting myself into as I'm going to have to watch my DF disintegrate in front of my eye, and try not to get annoyed with him getting up at 4am, or having to have endless discussions of how to deal with encroaching incontinence.

I feel I'm one straw away from a massive fail of some kind.

Can your parents employ some carers?

Can I start with you?

Are you getting decent menopause support? It's a bloody godsend when you get that organised.

(Apologies for the assumption if it's not you.)

Been there, done that, so happy to chat.

Yes Omega they will do this and lots of different agencies are currently visiting to assess all the different factors (partly why I'm going mad because I'm trying to get everything set up). They are lucky enough to find their care as and when, but it's still hard to know what to get someone to actually 'do'. In the very near future they will need to get someone to come every evening to fit a 'convene' which is basically a condom that you stick on at night to funnel wee into a bag if you can't get up In the night. Fun times eh? Understandably nobody wants to commit to a carer fitting one of these on until they have to, there no going back! Ditto to persuading him not to wake my mum and ask where the cat food is in the middle of the night - you can't get a carer for that

Glass in a sandwich??

I'm 46 and haven't had a period since having last DC 12 years ago (mirena) - and I thank the lord i don't even believe in every time I get the tiniest twinge of period pain (about once a year) because I had horrific period pain. No idea if a am menopausal - sure did sweat all night but I also didn't sleep because of parental arguing at 4am.

Honestly my DS1 (14 now) with ADHD was still waking me up 4x nightly until a couple of years back -. There's no end

If you have a mirena you probably just need a bit of top-up oestrogen, via (safe) gel or patch.

(Personal experience, btw.)

Yes @squirrelfan glass. It broke a v expensive crown. It's he culmination of a long cabin of events precipitated by DP being dyslexic and not reading a briefing document that told him to bring all his own food to an overnight meeting due to Covid, then being so hungry at the train station the next day that he continued to eat said sandwich even after breaking tooth as he was expiring from hunger.

Me the day before meeting ' haven't they sent you any info on the meeting' him- sends one word doc to me on the agenda (because, reader, I have to read and summarise these things because he is so dyslexic). Repeat X 3.

It transpires there WAS an 8 page Covid safety doc sent last week which he didn't read or send me. DP doesn't drive (see dyslexia) and was the only one not able to use his car as a bubble (this is SO wrong). He is incredible at what he does BTW hence being invited to said event

DamsonInGin you beat me in the misery stakes today no wonder you have checked out.

I’ve not as much as you on but I’ve just been hiding in the kitchen feeling that of some one shouted me one more time I was going to put my head through the glass hob.

This year has been truly fucking shite and I’m on my last nerve.

Hope tomorrow isn’t as bad for you. Chin up

Didn't want to read and run. Just want to say I hope things get better

How old are your kids? I'm just wondering if you can take a couple of hours for yourself in the morning, every morning. Get your project started, daydream, cup of tea in the garden, rest etc, whatever you need. Nobody disturbs you unless it's life or death. The old 'put your own oxygen mask on first' idea.

If you break down, the whole thing falls down.

Thanks omega - they're 12+ so yes, actually after the ADHD fueled arguments before school often I just want o go back to bed for an hour. Then feel guilty