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What to say to pregnancy news?

5 replies

lemurllama · 28/09/2020 00:06

I'm having a tough time at the moment. In the past few years I've had multiple miscarriages (but am lucky enough to have one amazing DC who is my whole world) and this summer I finally separated from my husband after years of abuse, when I called the police after discovering he had been secretly filming me at home since 2018. The divorce is very messy and he is hurling all kinds of hurtful and untrue accusations my way, as well as refusing to pay towards the mortgage (despite still being named on it) and is not paying a penny for our DC. Things are shit and I'm only just about coping.

My youngest brother and his girlfriend have been asking for the past couple of weeks if they could come round today, but for one reason or another I couldn't do it. Tonight they have put some cards through the door and my one is a scratch off 'congratulations - you're going to be an auntie' one and there's also one for DC which I assume is a similar cousin type one.

I know the right thing to do is to phone and fake happiness for them but I can't do it. I spend my days at the moment in floods of tears and I would just end up crying on the phone when they are happy and excited about having their first baby. I should at the moment be on maternity leave with the last baby I lost, but instead I sit here alone every night in the dark crying and worrying about the future. Can anyone put together a few words of congratulations which I can send them in a text please? I know I've got time to do it myself but my mind is just numb and blank.

Thank you.

OP posts:
BungleofWimbledon · 28/09/2020 00:18

Sorry you’re having such a shit time. Your child will thank you for taking them out of an abusive environment, you are a good mum and very brave by the sounds of things. It will get better.

How about, ‘So excited by the lovely card, and so looking forward to being an Auntie and DC a big cousin. Congratulations, so pleased for you’.

motherofdxughters · 28/09/2020 00:20

I second @BungleofWimbledon. Perfect response.

PurpleDaisies · 28/09/2020 00:23

I agree, keep it light and general. No need for more than “congratulations and thanks for the card. Really lovely news.” You don’t have to phone them.

Do they know about your miscarriages? If so, they might expect you to find the news hard. Sorry for your losses. Flowers

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PubicMenace · 28/09/2020 00:25

I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers. This is now and it will get better, you are doing so well. Be proud of yourself and your DC.

'So happy to hear your wonderful news. Many congratulations xx'

lemurllama · 28/09/2020 00:50

Thank you. Yes they know about my losses.

Those responses are great and I'm going to mix them together and send a message tomorrow morning. DC will genuinely be very excited to be a big cousin so I can include that. Thank you.

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