Is going out the new ‘ joyless fuck’?

[Dowser]

Been in all day so about 5-30 pm we had a drive to a picturesque N Yorks market town,
Thinking we might find somewhere not too busy for a quiet drink.
We eventually found somewhere that although busy -ish had a table . It had been an old coaching inn and nice inside but omg was like a drs waiting room.
We literally felt we’d walked into someone’s parlour . It was so quiet with about 3-4 tables occupied and no one was saying a word.

We ordered drinks and every few minutes could hear the greeter trilling away, wear your masks until you get to your table and then you can take them off.
This was, literally every few minutes as people were herded about and all seems so pointless.

We drank our over priced drinks and got out of there as fast as possible.

If that’s what the new going out is going to be like, we won’t be bothering.
I’d rather watch paint dry.

I must be a weirdo because in many ways I prefer it!
Decent amount of space around your table, not all cramped together listening to strangers’ conversations.
Really easy to get served due to fewer tables/ordering over app.
Everything seems so much cleaner. The first time I went in our local I was aghast at how non-sticky the tables were! They must normally just wipe down with a damp cloth, but now they’re using proper disinfectant between every customer.
The staff, who usually seem busy and harassed, just seem happy to be at work and earning money again.
I really don’t care about wearing a mask. It’s such a minor, simple thing.
And as for contact details, if I make a table booking they would usually have my name and phone number anyway, so it doesn’t really make a difference.
I’m a big believer that things are either as joyful or as joyless as you make them.

Totally agree, I dont go out often due to lack of money but when I do I want to enjoy it. At the moment its not an enjoyable experience so will stick to takeaways and netflix. I do feel sorry for the hospitality trade though and as soon as this pandemic is over I will be going somewhere nice for a meal out.

We had lunch at a garden centre cafe this week. I am mask exempt and was wearing a lanyard and feel anxious in any case. We were greeted at the cafe entrance by a woman who bellowed “Where’s your mask?” I indicated my lanyard she said “Sorry I didn’t see it” She then pointed at my husband who was wearing a mask, “You, you can wear that until you are at your table and neither of you are allowed to go anywhere near the counter” If we hadn’t been on a journey and in need of a meal we would probably have given up at this point.

An elderly couple next to us were trembling after encountering the dragon at the gate and were trying to put their masks back on when the waiter came, until he reassured them that they didn’t need to do that.

We finished our lunch and then couldn’t attract anyone’s attention to pay and really felt unable to approach the counter after the way we had been spoken to. After 20 minutes we managed to attract the chef’s attention and he sent someone over with a card machine.

We have eaten out a few times, and had mixed experiences but this was the worst yet and we are feeling that is not a pleasant enough experience to want to risk being contacted by test and trace.

@Prufrocks

On the other hand, I’ve been shouted at by customers when I’ve attempted to politely remind them that we’ll be closing the premises in an hour at 9pm.

I’ve had my job role turned on its head. Once my entire day was spent ensuring everyone who entered our pub was comfortable, looked after and relaxed. Now I’m a quasi bouncer. Constantly nagging customers to abide by the rules. It’s shifted our relationship to something entirely more confrontational. I fucking hate it.

And these people know the rules, they just believe perhaps that they are the exception. And the fine is on us. It’s so shit.

Oh and to top it all off, I can’t even smile at people to try to diffuse the tension.

Same for retail. I've had people leaning round my screen, sighing and tutting when I've asked them to stand on the fuck- off sized markings on the floor, you name it. We've been doing this for months, people should have the idea by now.

YANBU. I feel sorry for those in hospitality at the moment but I really hate the atmosphere, the snapping and barking at customers and being spoken to like I'm a naughty child. It's not an enjoyable experience at all - and that's before worrying about risks of infection etc.

We're waiting until there's a vaccine or unless something significantly changes. Money's tight at the moment anyway as DH lost his job at the start of lockdown.

That said, there are some ignorant fuckers out there who must drive staff demented. If I'd had 7 hours plus of having to deal with the ignorant and lazy, then I suspect I'd probably not be delivering my best customer service!!

Most definitely have given up everything is just too much hassle and totally joyless
Really wondering where this is all going to end and are all the rules actually going to achieve anything
As soon as rules are relaxed the rates just go up perhaps there is no way round this.

I am not going out as much due to lack of spontaneity.

But at a local cafe and a local (non chain) restaurant I have had a good experience but I think that is because they are going out of their way to make it pleasant. Explaining the rule changes but not going over the top and trying to make things like the old normal where they can.

I am off out for a pub lunch soon. Be interesting to see whether this is as good as they are a smallish chain but the rules online seem crazy but I will give them a chance.

@JamSarnie
Hope it’s a good experience

Couldn't agree more. As I have just said on another thread, it's the reason we haven't been away anywhere this year, either abroad or the UK.

Yes off out for lunch in an hour to independent local restaurant. Lovely ambiance, great food and no uber required!

Thats just north yorkshire market towns.

[quote Dowser]@JamSarnie
Hope it’s a good experience[/quote]
Well it was 'ok' but really not as relaxed as the other independents I have been to. I think it was the fact that 'the rules' were so in your face. One way systems etc. Interestingly really very quiet given that it's a Sunday and good weather. No one in the beer garden at all.

I have no idea how these businesses are going to survive.

About the only indoor place I'm going to is McDonalds. I can handle that being a bit utlitarian!

I hate masks, I get sensory overwhelm from them, and being a lip reader I can't cope with the combination of distorted speech and the loss of 2/3s of facial expression. I can't look directly at people wearing them, even DH, and I just shut down, keep my head down and don't look directly at people. It's utterly miserable.

I'm seeing signs about booking for Christmas. A little voice in my head welcomes it for a change, a break from cooking for 4, but the whole mask palaver and my reaction to being around them means that I'll probably have more fun spending a couple of hours in the kitchen without having had the break of going to church first.

I'm so tired of existing around the house, and the only true escape from this debacle is to be outside away from the haz-tape, screens, rules and masks. Well I say that, in a very quiet empty field on this morning's run, there was someone all masked up who bolted several metres off into the undergrowth out of terror of crossing a runner for 2 seconds

Well I suggested to mr d about going out for Sunday dinner.
Normally quite an easy going chap, he said no, he didn’t fancy all the carry on
Trouble is weather has changed up here. It’s grey and cool
So not sitting out weather
We are going to have a run out..in the car..hopefully we can find an area we haven’t mined to death

We were tempted to go out for a meal yesterday whilst out shopping but decided not to bother. Going out for meals now seems like a hassle rather than an enjoyable experience- we didn’t know whether to pre book or how strict the mask wearing or one way systems would be. Mind you, this was after a day of queueing in the freezing cold to get into a shops and feeling nautious after wearing our masks for so long.

Please bear in mind that the staff who are "snapping" or "barking orders" at you are probably just trying to do their job. A job, which quite frankly is shit now. They are stressed, overworked and burdened, and often spend all day placating angry customers who don't understand that it's not them making the intolerable rules. I have been lunged at (seriously, his family had to hold him back), sworn at, called stupid, had something thrown at me, and threatened with my manager.. All in the space of an hour or so on one memorable day. So much so that I was shaking with fear/panic, at which point I pulled down my mask to get some better air, only for my security and risk officer to walk past and give me a row for not having it pulled up. All for minimum wage, day after day. It is soul destroying, and not just for you the customer, believe me.

@Makeofthatwhatyouwill I can see that it must be tough for them but if you're rude to customers who really have done nothing wrong then they will go elsewhere as its unpleasant enough as it is to shop at the moment without being shouted at. Most people are doing their best.

@MakeOfThatWhatYouWill

Please bear in mind that the staff who are "snapping" or "barking orders" at you are probably just trying to do their job. A job, which quite frankly is shit now. They are stressed, overworked and burdened, and often spend all day placating angry customers who don't understand that it's not them making the intolerable rules. I have been lunged at (seriously, his family had to hold him back), sworn at, called stupid, had something thrown at me, and threatened with my manager.. All in the space of an hour or so on one memorable day. So much so that I was shaking with fear/panic, at which point I pulled down my mask to get some better air, only for my security and risk officer to walk past and give me a row for not having it pulled up. All for minimum wage, day after day. It is soul destroying, and not just for you the customer, believe me.

I presume you didn't read my later post which said that I had every sympathy with staff, for exactly that reason?

My friend went for a hair cut and they really suddenly 'zapped' her forehead for her temperature without any warning - scared the life out of her!

Our local library is a soulless place now where you have to follow the world's most complex one-way system even when you're the only person there.

@firsttimemamma Our library is awful as well. I totally get that you can't browse and that books need to be quarantined but the staff act like you have the literal plague when you go in and its so clear they don't want you in or want to be there. Last time I just took everything back and won't use the actual library again until things are back to hiw they were before all this. Problem is will it be in time or will libraries as physical spaces just close in favour of ebooks and digital services?

TBH I enjoy going out more now than before, though it depends where you go. Widespread App table service in pubs is literally the one good thing to come out of this pandemic. You hae the full list of item with prices, take as long as you want to decide, no queuing at the bar. Fab!!

I can see that it must be tough for them but if you're rude to customers who really have done nothing wrong then they will go elsewhere as its unpleasant enough as it is to shop at the moment without being shouted at. Most people are doing their best.

We were not being rude, or shouting, just trying to implement rules that we hadn't made.. Customer perception sees that differently though, hence why I was lunged at etc. So maybe the people people think were being rude and shouting were just trying to work a difficult, high stress situation. They could just have been rude, of course, but it's something to bear in mind.

@StrippyMug I'm so glad it's not just me who's upset about the library situation. The thought of them going forever breaks my heart.

At mine you now have to use the adult section first then the children bit which confused my toddler as he's used to me grabbing him something first so that he's happy while I find a book for myself. The lady said if I wanted to do this I'd have to visit the kids' section first, leave the building, walk all the way round the outside of it then back to the main entrance for the adult section which I refused to do as it's just stupid especially when the library is bloody empty. I quickly grabbed a book for me while ds whinged then quickly popped to the Children’s section where the staff glared at my ds as he had a very quick wander. Won't be returning as, while I realise it sounds trivial written down like this, at the time it was just unnecessarily stressful and joyless when I'm used to enjoying my time there. Such a shame.

@Fantasisa womt you're kids miss out on all that fun stuff though because you domt like wearing a mask ?