What would you make of this? (Sorry Facebook related)

[IFeelWeird]

Have name changed just in case there is the tiniest chance that the person this refers to reads this!

I logged into Facebook last night for the first time in ages as a friend told me her wedding photos were on there - I’m mentioning this just to say I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook looking at profiles etc. In the people you might know bit, it suggested a woman who I had been good friends with at school for while until we fell out (over I don’t even know what now) who then turned into a real bullying bitch who made my last year at school pretty miserable. But since we left school I haven’t had any dealings with her or anyone from that group. To give context we left school in the mid 90s.

Anyway curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on her profile. There was a post with a big rant against her teenage son’s school who were questioning him over (surprise surprise) bullying. I scrolled down the comments admittedly out of sheer nosiness and there was a comment from someone saying that the teacher questioning the boy sounded like Mr x from our school. Anyway my ex-bully then wrote something like 'I'll always remember when [my name and surname initial] was rushing down some stairs and ran into Mr x and spilled water on him' and then she wrote a bunch of stuff insulting my (teenage) appearance.

Why would someone have such venom towards someone after all that time that they would write something like that about them - basically shoehorning insults about them into a conversation that wasn’t even about anything to do with them? And the other thing is I vaguely remember that incident and wasn’t me that ran into the teacher, it was ex-bully herself!

I know I shouldn’t have snooped and I have certainly learned my lesson about that. But it’s made me feel a bit weird that the bully is still a bully - she is a now 40 something woman still being a bitch about 15 year old me. And also I find it really bizarre that she still seems to hold animosity towards me after over a quarter of a century.

What do people think about this? As I’ve said I regret snooping and I honestly hadn’t thought of this person for two decades. But I feel really weird about this. Obviously I would never get in touch with her or anything - so has anyone got any tips as to how to put this out of my mind and never think of it /her again? Or if you were a school bully do you still like to randomly insult your victims years later? And if so why?

She sounds unhinged. It’s shit but i hope you are okay. She’s still clearly bitterly jealous of you and your life

Because she’s pathetic and so nuts that she’s managed to convince herself that it was you that did something stupid instead of her.

Don’t care for the opinions of people as lowdown as her, she’s clearly a bad one whose thoughts don’t amount to much or have any basis in the truth and the apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.

She must be deeply disappointed in her own inadequacy and full of self hatred, so she has to project onto someone else, most likely someone she was jealous of it threatened by. Hold your head high and know you will never be as pathetic as her .

She’s a twat who hasn’t grown out of her bullying nature. Se feels better about herself by putting others down.

She is pathetic and sad. Just be glad you grew up fine and sane!

Just block her and put her out of your mind. She's not important, you've moved on with your life.

I'm sorry you read that OP but she sounds like a nasty bitch who hasn't grown up

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your comments, they've made me feel loads better :) She would probably hate me even more now if she saw my life. It looks like she never left our small hometown. Nothing wrong with that of course but I remember she had big ambitions to get out of there.

I really find it quite creepy that I must still be so fresh in her mind though.So strange to find out someone who I have no feelings towards now - negative or otherwise - still hates me in a vocal way :(

@IFeelWeird I mean, I don't know if it helps but she probably hates everyone. She sounds horribly disappointed with her life.

@DontBeShelfish yes you are probably right, but why does she even remember me? It's just so odd. Well this will teach me for snooping!

[quote IFeelWeird]@DontBeShelfish yes you are probably right, but why does she even remember me? It's just so odd. Well this will teach me for snooping![/quote]
Probably because her life hasn't moved on since those days. So all the petty jealousies of her teenage years are just as important to her as they were when she was 15. The people you barely remember from school are still flesh and blood characters to her because she's still living that life.

You sound lovely. We all do a bit of snooping, with various levels of success! Don't beat yourself up too badly about it.

She’s to be pitied really, her life hasn’t moved on in over twenty years..... so pathetic.

Probably because you were everything she wanted be.....

If she appeared in the 'people you may know' there's a good chance she was recently snooping on your profile- I would block her if I were you and don't think about her again.

And the other thing is I vaguely remember that incident and wasn’t me that ran into the teacher, it was ex-bully

Classic sign of sociopath/psycho/bully.

I've come across one particularly awful and blatant one.

Just ignore and be happy you are you.

Oh and glad she isn't after your husband ... then they get really bad.

Just post a little 👋🏼 and then block and move on with your life

I’d be really tempted to post ‘like mother like son - still not changed have you?’

But it would just open a can of worms. She’s clearly still in a bad place. Block and move on

It's not snooping to check the profile of a 'someone you might know'. So stop beating yourself up for that. It's basically the whole point! You check the profile of the person to see if it's who FB thinks it is, and that you did know then, and then decide if you want to be friends. If she had her profile visible to all, then she's chosen to do that.

You did nothing weird or sneaky.

Eugh OP I hate people like this. PP's are right, it sounds like her life never really progressed beyond school so her head is still in that world. It must be if she thinks other people would be remotely interested or amused by a bitchy anecdote 25 years later! I know a couple of people like that unfortunately

Block her profile so she doesn't appear again and move on with your own lovely life.

Absolutely do not give her the satisfaction of any response. Block and move on with your life. Be glad you have moved on and grateful for all the good things in your life.

If she ever creeps into your mind, think of her with pity. It's better for your mental health and oh, wouldn't she simply hate to be pitied.

She sounds pathetic and still obsessed with her school days, probably because her life is crap now.
Try not to let it get to you, it says a lot more about her than it does about you. People I know who were bullies at school sound similar to her, still bitchy and stupid. They’re the type that post rants on Facebook and spend their life on social media bitching about everyone else. Often they’re just jealous as they haven’t succeeded in life.

@TenPenceMix

If she appeared in the 'people you may know' there's a good chance she was recently snooping on your profile- I would block her if I were you and don't think about her again.

Ah thanks for this - I don't think she could have though as I deactivated my account a while ago and only temporarily reactivate it from time to time, and before that I had pretty tight security settings.

Thank you so much for your thoughts everyone - they have really helped me realise that she is completely insignificant so it doesn't really matter what she wrote. And you are all right, I guess her life really hasn't moved on that's why she still remembers me and still has active negativity towards me.

It's just really sad that she appears to raising the next generation of bullies :( I didn't say in my OP but the bullying the son is being investigated for is homophobic bullying. If my son was doing that I would be so ashamed, not drawing people's attention to it on Facebook!