Are you good in groups of women?

[Iwonder777]

I've come to the realisation that I'm not terribly.

Find it hard to find my place as such.

Are you a natural at group situations with peer women, if so, any tips ?

Depends on the group how I know them and dynamics.
I tend to prefer it when there's a mix of both men and women

No, I’m terrible.
Grew up in a male household, mum died when I was very young
Work on an isolated farm.

I’m much better in groups than I am one to one - I’m superficially extroverted, like to crack jokes and put on an act but am crap at actual real meaningful conversation...

I think I can get along with anyone as I used to work in retail, you get used to making small talk and carrying a basic conversation

I used to work at TOPSHOP too so plenty of groups of women - they’re not intimidating to me, all of them were lovely!

I was also super social during uni so have spent my fair share of time in group outings - it’s just second nature.

Well I'm much better at talking to women than I am with most men. It would depend on who the women are but yes I'd say in most cases I'd feel quite comfortable and can naturally talk to groups

I'm okay in the day time, although I have a tendency to zone out and loose track of the conversation quite a lot. In groups of ladies at night I am crap as I'm a bit stiff and awkward. When i was younger I would try too hard, drink too much and join in with the crude jokes that I hated, now I'm older I feel I come across as a bit stuck up and on the sidelines. I don't go out much, I prefer the company of a couple of very close friends and my close family members.

Hate being in groups full stop tbh. Outside of my immediate family, I prefer just being with one or two close friends. If anything, I prefer just being in my own with only a book for company

Absolutely not! In any group I will be the one that’s not broken into a smaller group. Well I will, but it’s a group of just me

I prefer mixed groups, and I’m OK in groups of men. Being interested in and knowledge about stereotypically ‘male’ things such as sport, cars and aircraft means I can generally be accepted as ‘one of the boys’.

I struggle more in groups of women, generally because I have a complete lack of interest in stereotypically ‘female’ things such as fashion, celebrities, weddings and children. I’m childfree by choice, so it’s difficult for me to participate when groups of women are talking about their children, which they do a great deal.

@AgeLikeWine

I prefer mixed groups, and I’m OK in groups of men. Being interested in and knowledge about stereotypically ‘male’ things such as sport, cars and aircraft means I can generally be accepted as ‘one of the boys’.

I struggle more in groups of women, generally because I have a complete lack of interest in stereotypically ‘female’ things such as fashion, celebrities, weddings and children. I’m childfree by choice, so it’s difficult for me to participate when groups of women are talking about their children, which they do a great deal.

It must be exhausting dividing people into pink and blue stereotypes as much as you do. Also, you’re really hanging around with the wrong people if any of those topics dominate conversation.

Reasonably good in groups but better one to one.

I’m really bad in groups of men. Feel incredibly self-conscious and have no idea how to join in their conversations. One man not so bad but a group, ugh.

@CircusAnimals

Of course I’m generalising, but if your experience is that men don’t talk about football a lot and women don’t talk about their children a lot, then we obviously know very different types of people.

[quote AgeLikeWine]@CircusAnimals

Of course I’m generalising, but if your experience is that men don’t talk about football a lot and women don’t talk about their children a lot, then we obviously know very different types of people.[/quote]
You certainly know very different types of people to me, @AgeLikeWine. DH actually works in a major sport, and has been a football fan since toddlerhood, but seldom talks about it socially (unless he’s watching or at a game), my closest male friends are either deeply unsporty or refrain from talking about it in my presence because it bores me to the point where my eyes roll back, and several of my closest female friends and both my sisters are childfree, so children don’t come up much. I have a child, but only really talk about him much to DH, or possibly his grandparents.

I’d say I talk most about books, writing, music, politics and current affairs to friends of both sexes. I have zero interest in clothes and currently don’t have a TV so my knowledge of celebrities is pretty much nil. DH is a good cook and a foodie, and is friends with a lot of producers, chefs, people in the wine/distilling industry, so his conversation tends that way.

No. I come across like i am but then I overthink and stress about stuff when I am alone again. Often take my lunch alone for this reason.

I'd love to hang out with your friends @Frenzies. I have kids, work in male dominated area. At our last big group meet up with old uni friends, the women's conversation was dominated by children despite two of the group being child free, they just went quiet whilst I tried several times to get on to books/films/weird cities/gardening.

I've been dropped from a couple of women's friend groups over the years. I can't seem to get the right 'relentlessly positive about everything' vibe mixed with medical/marriage/child behaviour confessional balance right. I think I come over as snooty /perfect I because I don't moan about DH to the school mum's.

I rather like groups of women but perhaps not so much if they're too large. As a quiet type it can be difficult to get a word in edgeways. I've never found them to be bitchy either. I've found marvellous support, sympathy and camaradie.

Only in groups of women who are trying to change the world! I can't settle in with the type that settles down and does what is expected of them. I like women who rock the boat, stir the pot and challenge the status quo.

Depends on several factors: the group, how well I know them, the setting, what's going on. I don't notice much of a difference in how I am with women rather than men or mixed, though I do notice a different in the feel of those kinds of groups.

I'm rubbish at icebreaker activities where we have to talk about ourselves and in spaces I've been in, women are more likely to challenge or make snarky remarks during them (but women's spaces also tend to do them a lot more in my experiences.). I also struggle in pubs. I tend to over-rehearse what I'm going to say so anything fast paced ends up with me lost. I tend to work better in small groups and with activities that let people dip in and out of the conversation easily.

I've missed women's spaces during lockdown especially as my women friends mostly went radio silence in the stress beforehand. Had a few zooms with local women's groups, but they've mainly been one-offs. I wish we still had more women's group in this area, but most have been eaten up by larger mixed organizations & it's just not the same.

@MentalLockdown

I'd love to hang out with your friends *@Frenzies*. I have kids, work in male dominated area. At our last big group meet up with old uni friends, the women's conversation was dominated by children despite two of the group being child free, they just went quiet whilst I tried several times to get on to books/films/weird cities/gardening.

I've been dropped from a couple of women's friend groups over the years. I can't seem to get the right 'relentlessly positive about everything' vibe mixed with medical/marriage/child behaviour confessional balance right. I think I come over as snooty /perfect I because I don't moan about DH to the school mum's.

How depressing, @MentalLockdown. I'm struggling to think of a time when I've been in any group situation where the topic of children dominated the conversation, apart from in a baby/toddler group situation, where the only other topic of conversation was either complaining aboutnhow little housework your DH did, or how much he'd spent in a lapdancing club 'with the lads', or some kind of ritualistic self-deprecation followed by someone else complimenting the self-deprecator, and then waiting for someone else to carry on the pattern.

Person A: Stop me eating the biscuits, I'm like a WHALE.
Person B: You are NOT! You're tiny, your thighs are like my ankles!
Person C: Are you crazy? You're a WAIF. That's a lovely top, by the way.
Person B: This old thing? 50p in a charity shop!
Person A (now feeling the conversation has got away from her): Stop me having another biscuit!
etc etc.

Every week. The only time it stopped was when a famous band member started showing up periodically with his son, and then suddenly there was a lot more blowdries and elaborate eye makeup in evidence, and a more 'I'm mad, me!' hairtossing element to the conversation.

This was literally the only time in my life I've encountered this, but it was very depressing. I moved away from the area as soon as humanly possible.