Hand hold needed - my son is grieving and it’s so sad

[CanICelebrate]

My son’s friend’s mum has died and he knew her well. He’s only 7 and is heartbroken. He has been crying all evening and saying things like ‘she was so nice’ and ‘her son will only know her for 7 years’. I’m trying to say the right things and give him lots of cuddles but he’s never known anyone else who has died and this lady was so kind and lovely to him. Any wisdom? Hand hold?

How awful

Childbereavementuk have lots of resources and a google for them might be helpful.

Sending good wishes

Oh the poor lad. He will have so many mixed feelings and worries. Be there for him to reassure and cuddle. Look at the website @redgin suggested.
Also it might help him to do something practical for his friend - like make a card or a photo frame for him - it would make him feel like he was showing his support and love.

I'm so sorry. No useful words of advice, but love to you and your son.

Actually I do have some recent experience of this. My SIL died when my DD & DS were 9 and 6. Letting them them talk, seeing their cousins and expressing their feelings through writing and drawing helped. You could see if DS wants to draw a picture or write a poem for his friend or for for the friend's mum.

He will so much love and stability right now. Death has become real, he now knows parents can die. Be fully prepared for anxiety about you and other family dying to be part of his grieving process.

Thanks for the replies. I actually work in a senior pastoral role in a school and often support bereaved teenagers so I’ve been surprised at how hard I’m finding this - I just hate seeing him so sad. It is so much harder because he is so little and as pp has said he is full of questions.
He seems keen on writing his friend a card and drawing him a picture which he will do later today.
Thanks again

My best friend's mum died when we were 7. She was lovely and I was sad about it, and very sad for my friend. But I had no idea how to be a good friend to her, I wish someone had talked to me about that. We're middle aged now and I was just talking to her recently about how badly it was all dealt with back in our day. Anyway, what I'm saying is that you have a great opportunity to help both your son and his friend by talking to him about how he can be of support to his friend (at a child appropriate level obviously!).

And be prepared for your son to be clingy and anxious. I was terrified that my mum would die too and became very fixated on not allowing her out of my sight .

Lots of hugs and perhaps you can help him do something practical to help his friends family, something simple like making muffins and dropping them around with a card. Different families have less or more support but they might be grateful if your sons friend and any siblings could go somewhere whilst they sort out the funeral, paperwork etc - lots of formalities alas, it's worth offering. How very sad though, mostly your son can be a good friend by staying friends even if the other boy is sad