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Found out he cheated when we were together

1 reply

Crispycove · 25/09/2020 21:13

I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this information?

Ex and I split 5 years ago. I was suspicious at the time of his relationship with a woman at work but talked myself out of it.

The split was my decision in the end, there had been a few, seemingly trivial, situations where I'd caught him in lies and couldn't move forward once the trust had gone, He wasn't happy about it, played the victim, made sure all our friends knew how I'd hurt him etc.

It transpires my gut feeling was correct. This week I found out through a mutual acquaintance that he had, in fact, slept with the girl at work during our relationship. This acquaintance assumed I knew.

We've all moved on since, I've moved away from the group of mutual friends we had as they were all very busy helping him through our split and assuming I was the heartbreaker. He started seeing one of these friends, was all a bit strange so I bowed out. None of them know he slept with this woman (they don't know the acquaintance and work is a distance away, they'll likely never find out)

I feel vindicated (in a 'my gut was right' kind of way) I suppose but not angry. I'm indifferent now, I'm out of the situation and have learned from it. I do feel sorry for the old friend he is currently with as he still works with the woman in question but that's all.

I'm quite sad I lost friends over the whole thing when he was the one playing around, I have missed some of them over the years and I wish they knew the truth but dragging it all up doesn't seem like a wise move, does it?
Should I shrug it off?

OP posts:
BF2748 · 25/09/2020 23:51

If you’ve not been in the relationship for 5 years then I’d keep it moving, know that your gut was right and don’t doubt it in the future. Sounds like you’ve done yourself a favour ending the relationship, moving on from him and the friends. It shows they weren’t true friends otherwise they wouldn’t have picked sides and as sad as it was it’s a long time ago to bring something like this up now. It may look like you’re not over him if you bring it up.

I’m sure you will move forward feeling lighter and grateful you made the decision to leave his weak, pathetic ass Wink

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