So it's like I'm due on my period but I've just finished that so it's not that. I've had one of those days today, kids have been driving me mad, I've tried my hardest all day today and nothing seems to make them that happy, all I'm doing is beating myself up in my head, my 3 year old has been shouting back at me, kicking out, hitting, attitude of a 13 year old, so rightly so I've been disceplining him, naughty step, taking treats away, then he just pushes my buttons even more and that's it I flip, I'm there shouting at him, I feel awful like the worst mother ever.....the day didn't improve after that. All I can think is how everyone else seems to make him happier than with he's with me. How everyone else can seem to calm him down better than me. No wonder he's shouting if I can't hold it together and end up shouting at him myself-shot I know. I try so hard not to but after hours of this shit I just loose it, I hate myself for not being that cool, calm parent. Those parents seem to be all around me.
Then I can't get them to bed, I can't keep up with the house work, I feel like everyone around me is watching me thinking I can't cope, I don't feel I match up to others out there. I'm constantly beating myself up, even when I do good I put myself down.
And now I feel like I said at the beginning I'm on my period cuz I fee sooooooo emotional and pissed. With everything. Just really irritable. Seeing my husbands family Saturday, really don't want to, it's always tedious and boring, but there his family and we haven't seen them for a while so surely I can just shut up and put up and just get on with it but that thought is making me angry, wasting my time with them when I could be doing better things. Oh and the fact that I do not want to break the law and meet over 6 when I know full well when we are there others will turn up making it over 6 and I'll be in a really shitty situation where I'll want to leave as it's illegal but I'll be made to feel so shit.
Sorry anyone who's got this far fair play, I am a moanning murtle tonight, just need to vent I think.