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Cant imagine meeting someone, please talk to me

2 replies

SoonestSet · 24/09/2020 19:43

I’ve had a couple of nice relationships in my life, last one ended at 33. We lived together and ended because he wanted to move overseas indefinitely and I both didn’t want to, I like being in the same country as family, and would have had to give up my job in the process which I didn’t want to do. I’m 36 next summer and feel like this is it now.

I’m so fed up. I do date but I have watched 95% of friends, family, colleagues develop their lives with another person and go on to have a family or travel together or build a home. It’s fucking shit sitting at the sidelines. I sound bitter and I know it doesn’t sound nice but I’ve had enough of buying cards and presents to celebrate other people’s live, or seemingly weekly anniversaries, engagement announcements...and so on! It used to make me feel really sad and alone but now I feel numb to it and just get on with the process of rolling out the usual celebratory comments and excitement for them. I don’t want to be a dick about things because I don’t have them but I have got to the point now where I honestly can’t see my life changing in the sense of meeting anyone significant.

I’ve not posted about this before but I have read other threads of people saying they are single and I know the usual advice is oh you need to be happy with yourself or you need to go travelling alone or why don’t you go it alone or not every relationship is happy etc etc etc. I find these comments frustrating as I have built my own life and I enjoy it but it is fucking lonely. I don’t want to be alone i want a relationship. Not because I am weak or need someone but because I want someone... you know like most people have in their life.

I don’t know what I’m asking here really. I guess I wonder if anyone else has been in a similar boat. How do you cope with it? I just feel like I have a nice life but I long to have that intimate support and to be supportive of someone. To have someone who thinks of me as significant to their life, and me likewise towards them. I used to believe in closeness...and I have had it in the past. But now? Now I can’t even imagine being close to someone again. I’m not looking for a perfect relationship, just someone who I live and who loves me back.

I’m so fed up tonight.

OP posts:
Overwhelmed222 · 24/09/2020 20:26

The only thing I can suggest is to carry on dating and doing things which enable you to meet people as you don’t know what might be round the corner and it definitely isn’t too late at all.

I know how you feel though. I am older than you and divorced and I too can’t imagine being with anyone - and would also like to share my life with someone. Someone kind - my marriage was very difficult and I would like to know what a kind and loving relationship is like.

I feel somehow not part of life - not a nice feeling. As if love happens to other people, full stop.

Overwhelmed222 · 24/09/2020 20:27

(But in your case I don’t think that’s true at all. Just keep on living your life and taking up all opportunities which involve meeting people.)

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