Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Anyone in here relocated say 3 hours away form family and friends, and do you regret it ?

35 replies

Lardlizard · 24/09/2020 13:59

Or are you glad you did it

OP posts:
unmarkedbythat · 25/09/2020 11:52

Yes. Glad. Made more friends. Actually enjoyed time with family when it was at a premium and not constant. Relationship with DM in particular improved loads with some breathing space!

AdoptedBumpkin · 25/09/2020 11:52

Edit: At Christmas (d'oh).

midgebabe · 25/09/2020 11:52

Moved more than 5 hours away

Regret? No. I had the chance of a good job, which I still love. Most certainly the right thing.
In reality, see my family more than DH sees his despite them living ten mins by car
Future? House is on the market, I want to go home. My mam is getting old, I miss the landscape, the quietness,

Lyricallie · 25/09/2020 11:56

Yes I moved 5.5 hours away to live by the sea. (Well I moved for work and to be with my DP but it is by the sea).

Realistically nobody really visits us as "it's so far away". They seem to forget it takes the same length of time the other way. We drive down once every 6 weeks in normal times and try to fit in seeing everyone and doing things we can't do in our town like going out for dinner which isn't standard hotel food.

We are pretty alone here, no family at all. However because we were on graduate schemes we made a lot of friends in the same situation. Also we do a lot of hobbies and volunteering so have made plenty of friends.

No kids though so that might change it dramatically. I've always said when/if I have children I want to be near my family as growing up I missed out on this as all my family lived abroad. I want to be able to have family parties with my sister and her kids.

BiddyPop · 25/09/2020 12:18

I'm 2.5 hours away if there is no traffic getting out of my city and on the motorway to half way (so usually more like 3+ hours). (After halfway is still motorway mostly but not congested normally so higher speeds are normal).

We are here 22 years now (well, this city - we've moved around the city a couple of times). DD is 14. DFIL died 6 years ago. DMIL and DPs are all in the "not terribly elderly but retired and all have medical issues of sorts". But there are siblings on both sides near them (some more reliable than others for daily or emergency needs). But as the eldest on both sides, we both have pangs of guilt applied to us, and that we put on ourselves. (DPs and DMIL are only 20 minutes apart by car).

We both had jobs here, DH came back from overseas for his, I initially had one here as the only one I got leaving Uni (having gone to Uni in the city nearest DPs/DPILs) and then got my permanent role in another area also in this city. Neither of us could have the same job "down home".

And we are settled here and like it here.

We had travelled down home a lot more in earlier years, when we were more free and easy. But now have too many commitments at weekends to go often. But when DFIL was ill, I got very used to driving DD and I down every weekend and managing that alone (DH spent most of that 6 weeks down there WFH or travelling from their airport rather than here). We have often done it in the one day for special events if we couldn't do a weekend etc (down in the morning and home that night). We keep in touch frequently by phone and now zoom etc.

We would have a completely different life down there, which I don't think would be anywhere near as fulfilling as what we have here. We have made good friends over the years, through work and other activities. Usually going "home" is more about meeting family than seeing old friends (TBH most have relocated away like us, a few are near us here but lots are scattered around the globe).

There hasn't been the practical support of DGPs when DD was young, but I don't know that we would have had it even if we were near them "down home" - we still would have been using external care (but probably a childminder rather than creche, based on what's available there). But they have taken her on occasional weekends in the past and we've been able to have a break. And there are good babysitters available near us so we can still go out when we want to (we're not the most social of creatures so it's the odd dinner or movie, rather than weekly clubbing).

Lardlizard · 25/09/2020 14:02

When I feel brave I feel like fuck it let’s do it
Then I think oh maybe we should stay here, and have more holidays instead !
Dh isn’t close to his parents at all, and I don’t see my mum that often although I would feel guilty like I was buggering off leaving it to my siblings
She’s not iLL in anyway yet
But I suppose that will come with more age

OP posts:
ahsbehdne · 04/03/2023 08:50

@Lardlizard I would love to know what decision you came to! Did you make the move ? How do you feel about it if so!

SettlingForAnotherMuffin · 04/03/2023 09:11

Lardlizard · 24/09/2020 14:27

Just always wanted for live by the sea, pretty much that simple

But I would miss family and friends
I know we would still see them visit them and hopefully they will visit us
But I guess it won’t be the same
I know we will make more friends though

My eldest is 13 and part of me thinks if we don’t go soon, we might not all end up going together
She is happy to move
My 6 year old will just get on with it, I would think

Do it do it do it. :)

Now is a good time.

3 hours is not that far- but my view on that might be skewed by the fact I relocated from Australia to England!

I live by the sea and tbh I think it is wonderful.

SettlingForAnotherMuffin · 04/03/2023 09:12

Oh! Just saw it is an old thread. Would love to know if you did it also OP!

leaaly · 18/12/2024 11:22

I am in a dilemma! My husband died a year ago. I have a 24yr old and 27yr old who had already flown nearby. I need to sell the family home of 30 yrs. It is too big and unsustainable financially. I have found the perfect new house, but 1.5 hrs drive away in the Lakes. I have a great network where I am, but feel I need a new start. My children want me to be happy, but have doubts about me moving so far. I keep swinging from the big move to moving somewhere else but closer.
I don't want to have any regrets! Any advice or insights welcome.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page