How to deal with being left out

[GoBackToPartyCity]

This might be bothering me more than it should...but I have a bad habit of overthinking things!

I work on a small team with other women who are roughly the same age and with children of a similar age to mine. We send messages to each other out of work but don’t meet socially because everyone is just busy with their own lives and kids. This is the same for everyone, not just me.

There is another small team in different department who cross over with ours. They’re also our age with small children.

There’s 7 of us altogether.

Yesterday my team were talking about booking a weekend away, you can tell it’s been mentioned before due to what they were saying. They were openly talking about where they were thinking of going and who would be going from the other team.

They mentioned absolutely nothing to me...meaning I’m the only person not going and not invited.

AIBU to be really hurt by this? We all get on and I honestly feel like they’ve been fake as fuck and insensitive by openly talking about it when I’m there.

I honestly don’t want to talk to any of them again but teamwork is a big part of my role.

But you're not friends with them and don't see them out of work -- I don't see why you would expect (or, to be honest, want) to go for a weekend away with work colleagues you've never even gone for a drink with...?

They sound v insensitive OP, id be hurt too-do they regularly meet up out of work? Or does the other small team?

It’s not necessarily the weekend away. It’s more the fact that I’ve deliberately been left out when everyone else is going. These women don’t socialise together out of work either so it’s not like they’re besties.

@GoBackToPartyCity

It’s not necessarily the weekend away. It’s more the fact that I’ve deliberately been left out when everyone else is going. These women don’t socialise together out of work either so it’s not like they’re besties.

You seem very sure that they don't socialise together out of work, OP, but I doubt this weekend away has come out of the blue -- how would you know whether or not they saw one another out of work time? Mightn't they have a different chat group for that?

I still think you're being unreasonable, though I'm sorry you're upset. I gel with some people I've worked with and not with others, and it would never occur to me to invite those I didn't to a non-work-related occasion I was organising out of some sense of 'fairness' -- I think that attitude is fine for the younger classes in primary school where being the only one not invited to a party would feel very mean and excluding to a small child, but adults are able to understand that out of work friendships aren't some obligation...?

They might not have realised you haven't been invited?