I've name changed for this because frankly I'm ashamed of myself.
I only just manage to drag myself out of bed in the morning. It all seems pointless.
I get my ds to school and today I came home and got back into bed. I didn't sleep I just lay there crying for a while.
Before pick up I had a quick tidy up so it looked like I had done something.
Got ds home and I feel like I'm just waiting until I can go to bed.
It's all so pointless.
There's nothing wrong as such but I could easily cry right now or sleep, unfortunately I can't do either.
I dont think this is covid related. I have in the past wfh but obviously now it's more like 90% wfh and 10% being in the office. I don't mind wfh but I definitely feel quite lonely at times now.
I've had times in the past where I feel low or flat but this feel different. This feels like it's not going away any time soon and the guilt for being a pretty shit mother is eating away at me making me feel worse than I already do. Despite feeling this way it's not enough for me to be able to change it.
I've never spoken to a doc about this stuff. I've always been of the mindset that there's nothing anyone can do for me so I just have to get on with it but I really do think I need help, I just don't know what help I need.