If you have two kids in primary...?

[goldpendant]

Do you and DH/DP both work full time?

I'd like to cut my days back, either going part time or finding a jobshare partner.

DH is hesitant because of the salary I'd lose. While he is hands on and helps with kids, his job is high pressured and he's the big earner, I do most of the wrap around stuff and unseen 'wifework'.

Just wondering what the norm is really? We've had a busy few years of me in work, out of work, him overseas, but now both settled and in f/t work but I feel extremely stretched and unable to do it all.

We can well afford for me to not work at all but I do so because I enjoy it and we'd like to clear the mortgage as soon as possible.

Interested in the general consensus here.

There’s no point you both being run ragged. Especially if you are doing all the little bits that (most) men don’t seem to think about. I’d go p/t if I were you, seeing as you can afford it. That’s what I do and it works for us.

I wouldn't go part time now, but I would be looking at the services and support I could "buy" to make my life less stressed, for example getting a cleaner.

Two kids in primary. He works FT, I work 30h/week over 5 days. He does school drop off each morning, I leave earlier and do school pick up every day. Works well for us.

I have 1 in primary, 1 in pre school and work part time. I'm single though. We would all struggle massively if I worked full time. I couldn't have managed at all WFH over lock down.

I quit to be a SAHM when DS2 started school. Part time hours were rejected, and 2 FT jobs, both of which included travel was too much without the support of 50 weeks a year of nursery.

Two kids here ages 5 and 7 and we both work full time. As previously said, pay for services to make life easier.

Two DC here. DH works FT and I work PT. I am teacher doing 2 days a week.

We both work FT. I'm working from home for the foreseeable future, which has made things easier. We have a cleaner for 2 hours per week, school dinners. We had a part time nanny until recently for the after school care, which is easier than a setting if you can find a nanny.

Two in Primary, both with professional careers. I earn marginally more. We did discuss DH being a SAHD but decided we work better both working. Outsource everything I can (cleaner, excellent childminder who will cover minor illness and INSET days, online shopping). We’re aiming to retire at 60ish by working now and I prefer to have the choices that a good joint income gives us. That’s before I even consider he risk to either of us if one didn’t work and we split up (seen it too often, sometimes through desperately sad early death of the main breadwinner - we have good life insurance too).

DH is a teacher so I do substantially more in term time and then he picks up the burden in the holidays. But we work as a team and I can always get him to save me if I’ve overcommitted (and vice versa).

We both work condensed hours and have a day off in the week. We considered both going 5 days again but it is just extra days to find childcare during holidays and an extra days of stressing over who takes a day off when one is ill so we are sticking as we are for now.

During 'normal' times we are lucky to have my parents for wrap around care but with Covid we are both wfh so just split the pick ups between us.

I really enjoy my child free day at home too

I work 30 hours and do pretty much all the ‘wife work’. I don’t feel like it’s a fair deal TBH.

I'm FT but the only way it worked pre COVID was that I WFH two days, senior role with a lot of flexibility so I could do pick up, deal with kids but then finish work later in the evening. The other days we used Breakfast and after school club.

Dh is a teacher so no flexibility on what he can do.

It was a lot of juggling but I didn't want to fall out of my career.

Just realised I’ve made it sound like the DC have FT careers in my first sentence. Oops!

I have two in primary but one only just started.

I went PT working from home when second DC was born because otherwise the cost of two sets of nursery fees would have negated my salary.

Youngest DC started school last week. Initially the plan was at this point to start looking for more work, but older DD has already been sent home to self-isolate so for now I think we're sticking as we go. Effectively this makes me much more the default / SAHP than either of us had anticipated but lockdown has given DH a real insight into the stuff that I do just to keep things trucking on. There's a lot more appreciation there now than before (and to be fair to him he wasn't really a dick about it before).

I do feel guilt though about not putting more money into the pot, but he freely admits right now my contribution is different but directly allows him to earn what he's earning.