Moving schools is just shite

[BanalAnal]

Moved my primary school child around Christmas time due to various reasons.

It is sooo hard being the new family at school.

The existing parents are such a clique and so chummy they won't give an inch to smile at a new face or be kind.

Despite lockdown my child is doing ok with friends but I am really struggling to get some kind of break in the parents group.

I will say clearly that I don't want friendships just to be acknowledged. Already am v alone in lots of ways. For someone to just smile or say hello would make world of difference 🙁

That’s shit OP. All you can do is stay approachable and eventually there’ll be progress. It will be harder because of Covid people aren’t hanging around and chatting like normal.

Is there a class WhatsApp group? Ask the secretary if she can put you in touch with one of the parents. Maybe an after school play date in the park?

Keep your eye open for anyone stood on their own and ask them a question about something school related as an opener.

From spending along time in the playground I’d say it takes a good two to three terms for complete strangers to get integrated.

A lot of them won't be parents, they'll be childminders, grannies, nannies etc. Pre CV i did pick up twice a week, and hardly any parents at pick up.

It's a lot harder now due to SD.

Sorry it's making you feel shit.

Thank you for replying. Even this helps a bit.

There is a class WA - kind of part of the issue. Perhaps more than playground

There is so much jolly chit chat/ in jokes etc. If I post a question it barely gets noticed. Then one of the alpha parents posts and there is 20mins of chit chat.

I think they are parents mostly on playground as I am trying to work out who is who from their WA profile photos. Again I'm only there 1-2 d per wk so my fault really.

Makes me feel like the child left out again from years ago!

That's shit OP if it's any consolation my child is special needs but in mainstream so I rarely get the time of day or any acknowledgement from fellow parents either-it's a lonely existence!
Sending you hugs it's tough, I hope you get a break in somehow with somebody soon. X

tbh Im polite if other parents talk to me but Ive always been a keep my head down type

I never understood the idea of us (general term for child owners) being friends - I have yet to meet another parent at any local or school group thing that I have anything in common other than having kids and that rarely makes for a friendship (I was one of the youngest parent in DS class as most children where the families last baby and he was my first + the only other 2 young mams had NOTHING in common with me and where kind of 'chavv-y')

on top of that as a child my mam always made friends with other parents, I was forced to pretend to be friends with kids I didnt like so she could have play dates and when I did make a friend inevitibly she would at some point fall out with their parents and we would be banned from being friends - I always swore I will never do that to my kids, their friends are THEIRS (and school is a place for their friendships not mine)

@mam0918

tbh Im polite if other parents talk to me but Ive always been a keep my head down type

I never understood the idea of us (general term for child owners) being friends - I have yet to meet another parent at any local or school group thing that I have anything in common other than having kids and that rarely makes for a friendship (I was one of the youngest parent in DS class as most children where the families last baby and he was my first + the only other 2 young mams had NOTHING in common with me and where kind of 'chavv-y')

on top of that as a child my mam always made friends with other parents, I was forced to pretend to be friends with kids I didnt like so she could have play dates and when I did make a friend inevitibly she would at some point fall out with their parents and we would be banned from being friends - I always swore I will never do that to my kids, their friends are THEIRS (and school is a place for their friendships not mine)

Read the Op

"I will say clearly that I don't want friendships just to be acknowledged. Already am v alone in lots of ways. For someone to just smile or say hello would make world of difference 🙁"

1-2 d per wk so my fault really.

Not your fault in the slightest. But it's probably because you're not there frequently a little chit chat / friendship hasn't developed. I'll say a quick hello to a few of the mums or nans who i'm stood there with every day rain or shine waiting for the gates to open or for the kids to come out, more out of familiarity than anything. I'd have maybe had a chat with them at kids parties too. I wouldn't expect to be noticed particularly if I was there just 1 day a week. Everyones rushing around and got stuff to do.

Absence doesn't help I know. I am active in smiling and taking any opportunities to make conversations with valid reason but the response is zero.

Getting a opportunity is almost impossible any kind of exchange eg smile in the line is always derailed by one of the elite crowd coming along and talking to that person with their back to me.

Even the class rep- I tried to make a VERY QUICK pleasant comment about end of term gift donation- and she basically couldn't get away quick enough. It was a simple exchange where it's polite to respond and she didn't.
I wasn't expecting a chat. We were walking along in same space for 5 secs max.

I'm just moaning now. Time to leave !

It will happen.
Took me about 2 terms, then covid hit.
This term has been much better.

Thank you red cat