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Handhold please

7 replies

MummyTears · 21/09/2020 21:27

I have today finally given up exclusively express breastfeeding my gorgeous little baby boy, after almost 3 months. He was not able to latch properly after some complications in the hospital after birth and we never got there. We tried everything we could- tongue tie snipped, lactation consultants, breastfeeding counsellor, nipple shields, but he just never got the hang of it, and I felt I couldn't keep going with the constant pumping and feeding regime as it has taken its toll. He is going to be formula fed from now on. I had got my head around winding down but then today was the first day he had no breast milk and I had a massive crash in my emotions. I just felt so sad and tearful that I couldn't fulfil my role in feeding my little boy. This evening I felt so sorry for him when I looked at him sleeping bless him. I know he won't know any different. I just feel so sad and wish I could have looked after him and taken care of his needs as his mum in this way.

OP posts:
MummyTears · 21/09/2020 22:14

Bump

OP posts:
ChelseaCat · 21/09/2020 22:17

Sending lots of love to you. You haven’t failed him in the slightest. Well done for pushing through all the tough times and managing for nearly three months. Flowers

Today has also been my last day of breastfeeding my PFB and I’m feeling pretty emotional about it too. I don’t want to stop but there are various reasons it just isn’t working anymore 😢

Lemonysherbet · 21/09/2020 22:26

You've done so well @MummyTears for pumping for so long! I had a similar set up to you as we couldn't bf and I too had the guilt when I gave yp but I really wish I could have told myself it's ok and not beat myself up so much. Grieve it if you need to, but please know you've not let your baby down in the slightest. You're doing amazing. Enjoy the cuddles

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MummyTears · 21/09/2020 22:28

Thank you. It's helpful to know my feelings are normal x

OP posts:
fiorentina · 21/09/2020 22:37

I also exclusively pumped for 8 weeks and understand how you feel. It is hard work expressing all the time.
Be kind to yourself, but know your baby will be fine and you’ve given them a great start.

RandomMess · 21/09/2020 22:45

You did amazing and in months/years time it just won't feel Important like it does now.

It's ok to feel sad and upset be kind to yourself Thanks

LadyMcLadyface · 21/09/2020 22:47

You've done an amazing job and your little boy is lucky to have a mum like you Thanks

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