Recommend any Adoption agency- London?

[lovelondon8]

Hi all - I have had 3 miscarriages in the last 2 years, 1 missed miscarriage at 11 week- shattered after the last one, I bled from the start, in and out of hospital etc - I am in mid to late 40s- cannot go through any more heart ache - the recurrent miscarriage team in QE2 hospital said there is nothing they can do as its down to nature ??!! They cannot find any reasons apparently as to why I cannot carry, most tests carried out and found nothing alt year. Its not perhaps meant to be but don't want to loose hope. So as time is short, my husband and I have decided to adopt. We want to bring up a child, give them love and security. Can anyone recommend any Adoption agency please where they have had positive experience ? We live in south east london. Any pointers will be very much appreciated. x

Hi. There is an Adoption board under 'Becoming a Parent' where you will get lots of advice. There is a lot to think about when adopting, but it can be very rewarding.

www.billsimpson.com/ppis.html

Age matters, you'll be considered as parents for older children

Sorry you are having such difficulty, I have not adopted personally but I have had a little to do with TACT and the people I have dealt with were lovely.

Coram were amazing! Good luck x

You may if you decide to keep trying want to try reflexology ....many struggling to conceive and sustain pregnancy find it beneficial.

Thanks so much - very useful and kind. x

Excellent, thanks so much, I have heard about them. xx

Thanks and point taken- Yes, I gathered so - our situ has been unfortunate and I don't know how I have been so naive thinking that I will definitely be able to give birth and the IVF clinic encouraged us to simply try and try again - at no point they discussed the risks and statistics either - well, the purpose is to be parents and this is another journey to be taken. who said life is a bed of roses ? Thanks for your response. x

That sounds great - thanks will definitely look into it. Thanks for your time to respond. x

Hi, thanks again for your kind thoughts. Conceiving didn't seem to be a problem though but carrying the baby and yet the recurrent clinic very coldly referred me to a research centre and said they couldn't help at all ....they don't know why am I miscarrying!! I felt like I was better off going off to the himalayas in India and visit a guru or a sadhu for some answers rather than depend on the hospital !!! Have been very anxious about trying again and miscarrying as there is no answer to my issue also you have to wait 6 months after miscarriage to adopt !! so because of the age issue do not want to waste time either incase we can't adopt - the red tape here can prolong the time scale too. thanks for your time though to make a lovely suggestion x

The waiting time is very important. You need to grieve for the loss of your own birth child before starting the emotional rollercoaster of adoption. You need time to recover mentally, and preferably have counselling.
You need to realise how adopting is different from having a birth child. You need to be able to accept the child had a life before you, and that will always be the case.
That the medical history may be unclear, that they will have experienced loss and trauma that may impact them years later. It isn't mainly red tape, it is making sure that any adoption has the best chance of success.

Concur and thanks for a sensible advice. Yes, healing is very important and Im taking some help. It comes with a lot of other factors, Im aware of too. We are giving ourselves time, won't start before next year but time is kind of against us so can't delay too much either. Thank you for your time though and what you said, I have taken on board. x

Hi , sorry to bother, and seems like a stupid question- where is this adoption board under "becoming a parent" please?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions

Sorry about your losses @lovelondon8

If you can get this moved to the adoption board you will get more response.
There is already some misinformation here and a very outdated link
You've said a couple of times that you can't delay much longer.
If this is a concern about your age then don't worry. Many people in their 40s adopt. I was 47. As a group we tend to be older.
It is also not the case that you will only be able to adopt an older child. I know of a number of people who have adopted babies in their 40s and some in their 50s.
Use the next 6 months to get some counselling and to research to develop your understanding of why children need new families and the impact this has on them.

Thanks so much Ted27 for your time, info and encouragement and it is re-assuring to know we can adopt kids of any age which infact isn't the main factor though as long as we can have a child who we will love and look after giving them safety and security. Im 47 and my hubby is 48. So, not too late. As you said we will sue this time to research and I'll use the adoption board as advised by you and by another colleague. Fab, feel better. Thank you. x

Thank you soooo much for the info. Have a good day. :)