DS hates school and home school, what do I do differently?

[SleepingStandingUp]

Since going back Sept, he says he doesn't like school. Terms new he's mad at me for making him out on his uniform. Days he doesn't want to go. He does leave the house ok and gets handed over to his TA fine, school say he's ok in class but if he's taking new he doesn't like it every day he's clearly not happy. I can't imagine not liking primary school.
And because of that and lockdown he also Hayes doing homework. It's very sorry. 4 spellings and a tiny bit of easy maths bit good whining means it's takes 10 times as long.
If schools close or the bubble bursts I have no idea how I'm going to home school him again especially now his brothers are bigger so harder to just put aside.

What have i done wrong??

I wonder if he is finding the changes and lack of stability hard? I think I would try doing a visual timetable of when he's at school, when he has free time and when he has to do homework (and what the consequence for not bidding it nicely would be).

He uses a visual timetable at school, so that could work thank you. It might help show how much time there is at home to do stuff (like bloody homework 😂). Think is spellings are all easy he literally had to learn one word last week or of 4 and same this week. Maths would have taken 2 movies of he'd focus. He's really not great at focusing. I'm just petrified of homeschooling again with 9 month old twins but again, a visual time table night help to put how little time we spent on with into perspective.

I'm just so sad a had a little boy who lived school even if he didn't always love leaving me and now he tells me daily he dislikes it. Not touching is Def affecting him, he misses holding his 121s hand to do jumping games and I'm sure he misses holding his best friend hands as they used to hold hands and so running races

Have you spoken to the school? You mention he has a 1:1 assistant, so I assume he has some SEN.

Have you tried a routine for homework? Say, get changed have a snack, homework then xyz (xyz being something to look forward to?).

Also, how old is he? Depending on his needs, school might agree to drop homework (I have done this in the past with some Sen children).

The first thing I've tried as a parent is the old reward chart - a sticker for every homework he does means a tiny treat when he wins, say, three stickers. If it worked you could increase the number of stickers he needs to get a prize.

If he has ASD, you could try a social story about going to school or doing homework to help. I'd say get in touch with school and explain. They will want him being happy to come to school too!

Good luck.

Mainly 121 for physical stuff as he's on o2. He started nursery massively behind, and pretty much non verbal at 3. He's catching up and his speech had leaped over lockdown.
I think in part is cos he's not playing like on reception, he really struggles sitting still for any period of time at home, but then I wonder if that's just us as bad parents?
He's partly tube fed and has had / has issues with oral aversion so stuff like eating we've been fairly lax about sitting at the table for the whole of dinner time (were working on this and he now eats at a table) so I do think he's struggling with the longer study periods etc.
I might call his SENCO. I've mentioned it to his 121, don't see his teacher due to Corona . 121 is lovely but v going and kinda brushes it off