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Handholding Please- Rape, Statements and Police

13 replies

Carebear93 · 19/09/2020 22:08

I made a statement to the police today regarding my exp. I feel so relieved but at the same time, I feel the officer had no emotion/poker face to the graphic details of the rapes.

I have never done this in my life and feel confused, she was asking the questions over but with in a different way. I kept giving her the same answer. I dont actually think she believed me in the end. Almost 2 hours of speaking about it. It ends.
She is going to write up a statement for me to sign and wants access to some medical records.

Please if anyone has gone through this. Tell me the hardest part is over.

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Ilovethewild · 19/09/2020 22:15

Well done, it is incredibly brave to report the rape. 💐
Do you have support? Plans for tonight/tomorrow?
Going through the criminal justice system is long and arduous with no guarantee of the outcome.
Focus on you have done nothing wrong and reporting what happened to you is right.
Virtual hugs your way

ulanbatorismynextstop · 19/09/2020 22:26

Well done. All police are trained to ask the questions in different ways again and again. If you answered consistently it strengthens your case and you have nothing to worry about. She wasn't asking again and again because she didn't believe you. It's standard.

Guiltypleasures001 · 19/09/2020 22:31

Care we believe you lovely

She has to keep an impartial poker face , as if she shows upset disgust or any emotion, the person giving the statement could be put off by trying to second guess what they are thinking, or not upsetting them

There is not a chance in hell she would have left that station without some sort of thought for your situation, it's the same with therapists lovely.

Hope you are safe and be gentle with yourself Thanks

DaisyChainsForever · 19/09/2020 22:41

Well done on speaking out and reporting it. She wasn't trying to catch you out, it's just to make sure all bases are covered. I guarantee she will have been effected by what you said, but it's her job to appear impartial. I hope you have some support IRL.

Carebear93 · 19/09/2020 22:42

@Ilovethewild I do have support, I'm hoping the case is strong enough but its wishful thinking. If I had reported one rape there would of been CCTV backing up my claims. There is no plans for tomorrow. I wish I could have a glass of wine(currently 40 weeks pregnant) so no chance of that! Thank you for your kind words.

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Carebear93 · 19/09/2020 22:52

@ulanbatorismynextstop I felt like I was in tumble dryer on a non stop cycle going over the same things. My mask was drenched with tears and was very soggy going over it all.

@Guiltypleasures001 she was very straight laced, she was nice before we spoke but once it got down to the statement it changed.

@DaisyChainsForever I have thought about it for months. There is a non molestation order in place with exp due to domestic abuse. I have a huge support from midwife, hv, domestic abuse advocate and a women from sexual abuse charity. My parents have been my biggest supports through all this.

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Nicknacky · 19/09/2020 22:58

Carebear93 I take these statements frequently and I’m trained not to react no matter what is said.

It’s really difficult not to show any reaction and I am always conscious of my body language but I don’t want any flinch, facial expression, sigh, to influence what a witness is telling me. And if there are any points I want to be clear in the statement then I will go over them again so it’s absolutely clear what is being said.

It really isn’t that she didn’t believe you. Well done for speaking up, it’s such a hard thing to do.

Frownette · 19/09/2020 22:58

It's a really difficult process isn't it - doing video interviews and having to be graphic.

If it's an exP it happens behind closed doors. You've done your bit and that's all you can do.

I wouldn't envy anyone having to go through that. Can't believe some people think it's as simple as saying "it's that one over there, officer" and they just arrest them.

Carebear93 · 19/09/2020 23:11

@Nicknacky all these comments are making me think she was doing her job, which makes me feel a lot better. I thought she was being abrupt but I am obviously wrong. I apologised to her numerous times for it being graphic and told me it was fine. I slightly got frustrated as she asked me something for the third time and this time I told her very sternly and probably abruptly (now looking back) that I could of not of consented(I was drunk). After that she left it.

@Frownette I went for a written statement I did not want to be recorded so heavily pregnant and thought what if DC ever saw it. If it does go to court, I dont want him to see me crying over what he has done. He would get a kick out of it and be very pleased with himselfSad. I wish it was that simple.

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Ilovethewild · 20/09/2020 11:35

How are you doing @Carebear93
Glad to hear you have support from family and professionals.

It’s a lovely sunny day where I am, am going out for a doggy walk, hope you are able to relax today, it’s hard but try not to go over and over things. Focus on how strong you have been. Look after yourself and baby 💐

bythebanksof · 20/09/2020 12:13

I wish you all the best OP. Skill sets and general principles for interviewing sex crime victims appear in several police training curricula, so she has been trained. But assignments to conduct rape victim interviews are often based on officer’s (female) gender or rank, and prior experience ... rather than skill in relating to victims. That's sad but true. The repeated questions, clarification, etc are critical for the write up, and if not done leaves too many issues open for dispute later. Of course it is difficult for you, but it's sadly for good reasons.

Carebear93 · 20/09/2020 21:17

@Ilovethewild I feel relieved and slept amazing. I know the road ahead is going to be very bumpy. I've passed the lights now.

It was very hot today, I nested a little more and the braxton hicks are coming more requent so hopefully DC comes soon!

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Carebear93 · 20/09/2020 21:21

@bythebanksof I am glad I posted as I dwelled on the officer being heartless but merely her job to react like that. I wouldnt wish it on anyone. It was horrific.

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