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Pushing them away

13 replies

lopdedop · 19/09/2020 05:07

New man of a month, it's all been quite full on, but very enjoyable so far. We're late 40s. Seems sweet and respectful, intelligent and funny.
However, the other night he told me he had had 3 sexual encounters since his last relationship ended 18 mths ago.
One was a prostitute.
I appreciate his honesty (Actually, I wish he hadn't told me!) . He said he didn't feel good about it.
I haven't seen him since (2 days, my choice).
I'm wondering if there is any point in continuing.
AmvI being precious?

OP posts:
lopdedop · 19/09/2020 05:13

The 'pushing them away' title really refers to me finding out things about new men, and dumping them. I've had shitty relationships, and in recent years I find the smallest excuse to get rid (self preservation??).
Anyway. Is this something I can overlook, if everything else is ok?
Can I see it as a bit of a blip, as he was feeling lonely/horny?

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Pavlova31 · 19/09/2020 05:42

Would be a deal breaker for me 🤢

lopdedop · 19/09/2020 05:49

Thanks Pavlova. I think it is for me.

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EarringsandLipstick · 19/09/2020 05:53

Deal breaker for me too.

I don't think there is anything wrong with knowing what you're happy with, and not, and setting those boundaries.

lopdedop · 19/09/2020 06:03

Thanks Earrings.
I feel, finally, I am able to put boundaries in place. However, at my age, I don't think there is much chance of meeting a man who hasn't fucked up at some point in his life.
I feel I probably won't meet anyone now. Maybe I'm being pessimistic..

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Pavlova31 · 19/09/2020 06:06

I agree Earrings.To me the thought of a man who thinks a woman's body can be bought and used .Just.No.

Mintjulia · 19/09/2020 06:06

Deal breaker for me too. I couldn't be with someone who thinks using prostitutes is in any way ok.


lopdedop · 19/09/2020 06:17

Thanks all. You're confirming what I thought.
Unfortunately, I'm living in a country where prostitution is readily available, and disgustingly cheap for western men.
I think it's going to be a struggle to meet a man who hasn't bought sex here :(

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Pavlova31 · 19/09/2020 06:32

I hear what you are saying but there is nothing wrong in respecting your own boundaries.

Mintjulia · 19/09/2020 06:37

He said he'd been with a prostitute once. I don't suppose he also said it disgusted him? hopefully

TikTakTikTak · 19/09/2020 06:41

Agree it is a deal breaker, but the cool girls will be here shortly to tell you that you're wrong.

lopdedop · 19/09/2020 06:44

Mintjulia. He said she approached him. He said he felt horrible about it. Not sure if that was during/afterwards.
I didn't ask for details.
It's been playing on my mind ever since. I've been trying to think of all the nice things about him, but this just cancels all that out for me, I think.

OP posts:
lopdedop · 19/09/2020 06:49

Tiktak. I am one of the 'Cool girls'.
At least I used to be. 10 yrs ago this wouldn't have bothered me at all.
But I've obviously changed, and it's bothering me a lot.

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