Dying with dignity

[NotMyWay]

Currently sat by an elderly loved one's bedside watching them die. Two days of thrashing around and begging me to kill them. Doctors are doing what they can but it's horrific. We don't treat animals like this so why are there not better options for end of life care?

This is heartbreaking to read. I hope your relative is more peaceful today. I've had to loose it a few times at doctors. Its worked and I would say twice when I insisted on better care it saved 2 lives (wrong diagnosis both times but my mum and nan instincts told me to push for a different doctor) Don't feel worried to insist on better care and well done for standing up for your relative. Hugs to you xxx

*End of day 6!!!
*
Six days of slowly being starved, dehydrated and in pain from untreated illness and injuries. It's barbaric and I don't think anyone would actually choose this if fully informed of the reality of dying this way.

My complaint to PALS was a fat lot of good since it was referred back to the ward to deal with and other family members don't agree with making a fuss for fear it will result in even worse treatment.

I'm so far passed being able to deal with this...

Contact your nearest hospice, they should help.

Is your relative more settled now? Have they increased any of the syringe driver meds?

Try not to worry about the not eating and drinking or being given fluids. These things can overload the body and cause greater discomfort as the organs can't process food/fluids as the person is declining.

How has it come to this. It’s barbaric. Record what’s happened in a diary as it will slip away from you, you have all been through so much. There must be more that PAls can do. What’s the point of referring back to the ward. I am so sorry and really want you to know you and your family member has been in my thoughts. I wish I could do more.

@Harrykanesrightsock

How has it come to this. It’s barbaric. Record what’s happened in a diary as it will slip away from you, you have all been through so much. There must be more that PAls can do. What’s the point of referring back to the ward. I am so sorry and really want you to know you and your family member has been in my thoughts. I wish I could do more.

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. In fact, thank you to everyone who has contributed so kindly to thus thread.

@NotMyWay

How is it going ? It feels awful to say this but I hope your relative is at peace now.

@VictoriaBun , I don't think it's awful to say that. It's kind.

Just de-lurking to say that I have been following your thread and am so sorry about this dreadful situation. It's just so wrong.

I hope your relative is pain-free and calm now.

Sending love.

Sending you hugs.

I went through this with my lovely Dad. He didn't want me to 'make a fuss' as the nurses would then be offhand to him.

PALS were useless.