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Household Chores - ROTA?!

2 replies

2me2u2u2me · 18/09/2020 16:51

I am a single mum and live with my 20 year old son, we get along great, does his share of the housework and leaves the bathroom clean/tidy. His room is untidy but I leave him to that, he sorts it when he’s ready and it doesn’t affect me. He goes out working and is quite self-sufficient.

My OH (4 yrs) also has a 20 year old son, he’s a nice enough boy but bone idle, (OH’s words), he sits in his room pretty much 24/7 gaming, (has done for the last year) he might go out once a week to meet friends, that’s about it, he’s happy doing that. His bedroom is rancid, bathroom is awful when he’s been in, wet towels lying about, floor wet through, toilet’s a mess, basically lives like a slob. He spends over half hour on the loo on his phone, OH has to yell him out of there regularly. OH does admit he’s been too soft with him and struggles now. Just to say he should be working, wasn't before lock down and no interest to either. OH too soft again.

So, my issue … me and OH have just bought a house and are all moving in together. The 2 boys will have the top floor which has a bedroom each and a shared bathroom. How do I set up from the start that we all muck in equally with running the house and keep communal areas tidy and clean. Would you have a rota where you each have your own daily/weekly chores, (seems a bit ott that?), how would you set it up?

I need to set this up from the get go but don’t want to come down too hard and make it feel like I’m being a bossy cow.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 18/09/2020 22:36

I think your OH needs to firmly have that conversation NOW, and not wait until you move.
He needs to let him know (well, he presumably already does) that you and he are buying and moving together to a new home. Let him know it isn't assumed that two other adults will automatically be coming, but, they will both be welcome if they are prepared to treat your new home with respect and to pull their weight.
That means remembering that bathrooms are shared, and should be used with that in mind - which includes the time spent and it includes leaving the bathroom in a state you'd hope to find it every day.
That includes a rota for cooking, or a sharing out of different jobs that need to be done in and out of the house.
That includes a (proportional) contribution to expenses.
But overwhelmingly it includes a respect for the fact they will be one of 4 adults living there.
He needs to be really clear what that looks like and that, if he chooses to move in with you, those are the rules he is agreeing to live with.

BackforGood · 18/09/2020 22:37

Meant to say a bathroom rota shouldn't be needed if everyone cleans up after themselves.

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