Shite superpowers

[ScrambledSmegs]

According to my DH, I have an unusually powerful sense of smell. He's been astounded by it often enough that I've started to consider calling myself 'The Bloodhound'* and wearing a cape NO CAPES

It's a rather shit superpower though, which made me think - what mediocre (imaginary or MNer) superheroes would have got a rejection letter?

• I know there's a minor DC character called Bloodhound but as far as I can see he's got no nasal powers so he can do one

I have superior hearing. Unfortunately though I also have screaming tinnitus which covers most quiet sounds. That's quite a shit superpower - the ability to hear anything but not being able to actually use it 😂

The ability to detect trip/slip/fall hazards by inevitably tripping, slipping or falling into them myself thus sparing innocent members of the public. Im like a walking slapstick comedy sketch.

I know there's a minor DC character called Bloodhound but as far as I can see he's got no nasal powers so he can do one

We had a cat where if I held my hand out to her in a 'stop' type motion she'd keel over on her side for a tummy scritch. Only worked with that one cat who is now sadly passed. It was fun while it lasted.

Oh, my mum had "teacher voice". If she turns it on small children, teenagers and even adults stop messing around and listen. Thats not a shite super power to be fair its an awesome one. Sadly not one I inherited. I thought having children would make me become more naturally authorative but nope.

Choosing the one thing on any menu that is unavailable. I ask the waiting staff at the beginning if everything is on the menu, assured it is, select something and then "...except X, sorry!"

DH thought it was funny at first but is truly astonished at my success (?) rate. I always pick two things so I have a back-up

@Afwan - me too! Almost without exception. I have to have back up choices as well. Sometimes they're unavailable too.

My other superpower is knowing exactly what DH means when he asks me where the 'thing' is. Whatever the situation is, I know what 'thing' is he wants. DS is amazed.

My OH is able to talk backwards. Very amusing but totally useless. He has no idea how he does it.

iklboo it's an odd superpower isn't it! The odds against this eventuality must be high so how come we're able to nail this time after time?! In saying that, I am pretty lucky with lottery tickets and scratch cards, perhaps the universe is rewarding my restaurant bad luck in this way

My shit superpower is to walk in on my partner when he's changing and is just at the stage of having his pants and socks on. He does not think men should be seen in a pants and socks combo (pants ok). I do not do this intentionally but he thinks I either have superpowers or a secret camera.

His superpower is to turn on the tv, or switch channels, in the middle of an advert or seconds before one starts. Not very useful

I have incredible hearing. I have to sleep with background noise otherwise the smallest noise bugs the life out of me. Last week I was mid conversation with dp and ran upstairs because I could hear dd was sat up in bed splashing the water in her glass with her fingers. He was astonished. I can also tell 100% of the time if someone is adding me on facebook to sell mlm products by the little profile pics in the notifications you get

@yetanothernamitynamechange I have teacher voice and teacher glare (Paddington Bear stare in my house!) and they are both immensely useful superpowers! Also useful in my job - as a teacher .

My shite superpower is also to trip over things no one else can see - not only does it prevent others from falling but gives everyone a good laugh. A 2 for the price of 1 superpower .

Afwan I know. DS now says 'what do you want that they're not going to have this time mum?'

I always beat DH rock-paper-scissors. He’s convinced himself I can read his mind and become quite paranoid.

I enjoy a higher-than-chance success rate with others too.

@lilfoxfur

I have superior hearing. Unfortunately though I also have screaming tinnitus which covers most quiet sounds. That's quite a shit superpower - the ability to hear anything but not being able to actually use it 😂

I think Netflix could get a whole series out of you actually! Tortured superheroes are very in.