Who is in the right?

[JustOneLastThing]

Ex-h has sent DS to mine minus school shoes and homework for tomorros. I have asked him to drop it over and he has refused as his girlfriend is coming over tonight. It's a 15 minute drive. I always ensure DS has what he needs when he goes to his Dads. Fwiw part of the reason ex-h and I parted ways was because of his chronic forgetfulness-he has now self-diagnosed adult ADHD???
I can't face picking up after him any more, I spent 12 years being his memory.
Should I go and collect them or should I just send DS in his trainers and explain to the school?

[sorryforswearing]

Explain to the school. No way should you be running around after him. Selfish man.

[JustOneLastThing]

@sorryforswearing I explained that DS would reasonably surmise that ex-h couldn't be bothered to bring them over and it could be easily interpreted poorly but ex-h has just ignored me. So frustrated.

[Biancadelrioisback]

How would the school react if he has the wrong shoes and no homework? If he would be punished as a result I'd go and get them.

[JustOneLastThing]

@Biancadelrioisback I have no idea. I don't even know if he is in the house or not now so I don't think it's an option, but the main issue is that, as per effing usual, he has forgotten a crucial detail and expects me to sort it out.
I hate feeling like this, it was a real issue in our marriage is that I felt like I had two people who needed me to look after them. It affected everything because there was nothing less attractive than having to mollycoddle a grown up through life. I resented it so very much and refuse to engage in it now we are divorced.

[JustOneLastThing]

I don't think he'd be punished, he's in primary school so not all about blazers and shiny shoes but he likes to follow the rules.

[Stompythedinosaur]

I would send him in in trainers and send a letter explaining his useless dad has them and being clear your ds has no control over this.