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Ds 15 has gone awol after massive row...

5 replies

Dickorydockwhatthe · 16/09/2020 20:25

Sorry for posting here but I really need advice quickly as I'm climbing the walls and dh is out looking for him. Ds attitude has been really bad lately, he's full of rage, swearing, disrespectful and angry, hes very much up and down. I've found out he's been smoking and basically has got into the wrong crowd who are older and who also get into fights. We have also had money go missing although can't be 100% sure its him. We had a big row as I didn't want him going out after school, he's ill, been going bed late, not eating and just pushing the boundaries with everything. I've taken his phone off him but now he's gone awol and threatening not to not come back. He's squared up to dh, climbed over the fence when I tried to stop him leaving and I've literally lost control and have no idea what to do 😔
I know I haven't handled it well but he was so horrible and hitting his door, banging furniture, calling us twats etc it is so hard not to bite back. But he's not a child so can't put him in time away. I've tried talking to him but it hasn't worked. What do I do I'm sat here crying.

OP posts:
DMCWelshcakes · 16/09/2020 20:33

Wiser people will be along in a minute (my DC are younger so I don't have any advice) but in the meantime here's a handhold and a cuppa. Brew

Ilovethewild · 16/09/2020 20:39

Contact his friends, give him time. I know it’s hard (I’ve been there with dd..). Allow him to come back without engaging it what’s going on. Be a safe place. Back off, don’t remove his phone, give it back. Remind him you love him and worry about him.
Try and chill .... so hard (it took lots of running off b4 I could chill 😂)
Call police if you feel it’s necessary but they are unlikely to do anything unless he is particularly vulnerable.
You can’t dictate his friends/life choices, stay supportive,
🍕💐💐 🍵

Dickorydockwhatthe · 16/09/2020 20:49

Thank you ILove, I think it's shock to be honest especially with the smoking. I've tried being the safe space and understanding but the way he speaks to us and little brother or bangs furniture really gets to me. He was horrible because I couldn't pick him up and taxi him somewhere at a drop of a hat. This then led into a massive row. He's definitely hanging with the wrong crowd and this is impacting his mood loads and I really don't like him. He just thinks he can do what he likes at home right now.

OP posts:
Itsnotalwaysme · 16/09/2020 21:36

That sounds horrendous and I hope he's back soon, but he is still a child at 15.

MinnieJackson · 17/09/2020 14:54

Sorry no advice Flowers is your ds home?

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