I’m putting this in chat for traffic so I apologise if it’s not the right place for this but I am looking for people with similar experiences.
I’m almost 40 and in recent years I feel like what was always a bit of imposter syndrome has become extreme. I was a teacher for a long time- senior, Head of Dept etc- and then had my kids who are now approaching early teens. This coincided with my health taking a nose dive and after struggling on for longer than I should have, I quit teaching.
Since then I have done various bits and bobs, working freelance for local authority, doing some freelance writing and tutoring. I make a living and don’t do terribly at al. But despite reaching the age where I feel I should have more confidence, I feel like I get less confident with each year/new blow.
A good example is that I had a tutoring client cancel on me after two session and the boys mum said he’s just snowed under (gone into yr 11 now) and doesn’t feel he needs the support in my subject right now. She was perfectly nice and the kid was actually quite good at my subject from what I saw so may be true. This could be true or could be a fob-off, it’s far from the first time this has happened (I’ve tutored a lot of kids over the years) and five years ago this wouldn’t have bothered me at all. But now I’m stewing on it, thinking the kid told his mum I was crap at teaching or whatever. This is increasingly how I react at anything- not getting a freelance writing gig or someone dropping me for a meeting or something when I’m freelancing. It’s like I’ve lost a layer of skin.
I think I’ve lost confidence from being ill and not being able to do my career anymore but I feel it’s getting worse. Has anyone had this and how have you solved it?