Struggling with homework for 5 year old

[Aria2015]

My lo is the youngest in class. Just turned 5 and in year 1. By the time he comes home from school he is sooo tired and so we put him to bed early at around 6.30pm. So between school finishing and bed we have to squeeze in dinner, bath and stories.

He had 'homework' in reception but it was to do over the weekend which was fine. He had lots of time to play etc... and we fit the homework in when he wasn't too tired and the promise of something fun to do afterwards.

The problem we're having in year 1 is, that he has weekly reading and spelling homework that requires him to essentially do homework after school most days (if not every day) and we're really struggling. He's coming home and crying almost straight away at the prospect of having to do it.

I've tried to let him relax first and then do a bit bit of course he's tired because it's later in the day. I've tried getting it out the way and tackling it as soon as he gets home but this seems to be the worst and he'll just cry throughout.

I'm feeling really down about it because we only have a couple of hours from him getting home to going to bed and it seems such a shame that he's getting so upset over it and of course it's a struggle for me too.

What do other parents of young children do? Any advice on how we could make this easier on both of us?

@SleepingStandingUp So there are 6 spellings a week, given out on a Monday. We only have 3 days he can practice before his test because he's in childcare one day a week after school. I try and fit in learning the letters in each word as and when I can and I try and make it as fun as I can. It's the sitting down and writing out the words that is the time consuming bit and the bit that causes the upset. Today to write out each word twice (so twelve times) took us nearly half and hour because he kept on bursting into tears.

The reading is a short book and I have to keep a log of what reading he does. So how much time he's spent and what's good and what needs work etc... that I'm not too worried about because as long as we get through the book in the week then it's fine.

@LizzieMacQueen I know his bedtime is early but he's always slept loads. I've even taken him for blood tests to make sure his levels are all ok (they are). He just needs a lot of sleep for some reason (not something I generally complain about lol!).

Can I just ask with the spelling. So many of you saying you do spelling over breakfast etc... what exactly are you doing? Am I doing it wrong? I'm getting him to write the words out again and again (because they gave him a spelling book) and also 'testing' him on the letters outside of that.

That is a ridiculous amount. Playing and having fun after school is more important. I’d be asking why the school aren’t covering the work which needs to be done within school hours.

The school is obliged by government to set homework. You are not obliged to do it.

All the evidence suggests that at primary school age the only homework worth doing is reading with them. The rest is, at best a waste of time and, at worst, puts them off learning and causes stress in family life.

I'm getting him to write the words out again and again (because they gave him a spelling book) and also 'testing' him on the letters outside of that.

Screw the spelling book.

He doesn't have to write the words more than once a day. Find other fun ways to practice too. Practice is practice doesn't matter how or in what form or in what book as long as he does well in his test. Sometimes,even if he doesn't.

DD is supposed to practice in her homework book, every year her teachers get a note in the first week that says she will practice at home in a diary as we hand the homework in on a Monday.( rather than the random day they pick and I'm likely to forget)

Sack it off, he's far too young.

It's not going to matter in the short term or long term, it's more likely to do harm as it will upset him and make him resent school.

My DCs primary hardly gave them any homework at all, till Y5/6. Has not affected them at all.

@ComeOnBabyPopMyBubble that makes me feel better. I feel like the learning of the letters verbally is much more doable and easy to fit in than writing them down again and again. It's also easier to make it fun. I think I'll try focusing on that and just get him to write them out once or twice.

Thank you to all the posters who have posted. I really appreciate you taking the time. I've read them all the posts even if I haven't managed to address your post directly. It's reassuring to hear from so many of you that it isn't the end of the world if we don't manage to always do what's expected homework wise. Also it's reinforced my gut that his well-being has to come first and that I have to tread carefully as to not put him off learning by pushing too hard.

@Aria2015

For those who say I should push back with the teacher and say we'll only do homework if he asks or is keen, would that not look like I'm not supporting his learning? He's already the youngest in the class and a boy (both of which numerous people have told me are to his disadvantage) so I'm worried about him falling behind.

I do want to support his learning, just not at expense of his wellbeing. That's why I'm hoping to find some sort of balance where we are seen to be making an effort at home, but without it causing him distress.

For me the biggest issue is the pressure of the weekly spelling test but maybe if we focus on the reading as lots of people on this thread have suggested, the spelling will follow naturally?

We had this very scenario last year when my lo was in y1. I am very supportive of school and give up a lot of my time for it. However, the spellings and test were taking over. Eventually a week or two before covid hit, I finally said we would do the read write check sheet, but that was it. Pressure off. My summer born child just wasn't ready to spell "anything" for example. Especially as there were no shared phonic patterns to the spelling list. Likewise reading was really hard work as the books were/are to be blunt uninspiring. I went back to word cards. And writing in context. Covid hit, lo reads amazingly after being at home. Spellings are hit and miss, but sentence structure great. This year, we will play the game re spellings of doing the sheets, will play our word games with these as focus and that's it. Spellings are given as parents apparently want the homework - we'll I bloody don't! I would ramp down the input needed. And do the homework as soon as possible once you're home. Then that's it...

@Aria2015 don't get him to write them out in a book over and over, its not a good strategy for learning them and sounds excruciatingly boring. A few ideas I used to do when I taught ks1 or when DD was younger:
Letters (or phonemes) on post its for him to order the word
Letters on pieces of paper and get him to jump on them in the right order
Spell it out in magnetic letters on the fridge
Stamp the word into play dough
Write it on the windows with whiteboard pens / pavement with chalk etc
Spell it out with foam letters in the bath
Set up a sensory tray like sand, shaving foam etc and have him trace the words into that
Spell it out verbally in silly voices / shout it / whisper it / sing it
Put the letters of the word on duplo blocks so he can build the word
Take turns to spell the words - make silly mistakes and let him correct you, or pretend you've forgotten the next letter and ask him to help

We don't do much writing practice but it is sucky that you don't get a weekend time to do it.

The book I'd just get him to read it and then do the log when he's not there

@ShinyGreenElephant thanks for the suggestions. He's my first and so I'm a bit clueless and just basing my methods of what I had to do at school so probably hopelessly outdated! The worst of it is, I hated having to write out words again and again when I was young too but I just thought that's what we were meant to be doing! I'll try and make it more fun and try some of your suggestions!

Reading at home is all they need at 5. Literally 5-10 mins looking at a reading scheme book together and figuring out a page or two. Nothing else. Even then, if he doesn’t want to pick up a book at all at home, that is completely fine! It’s all about the love for learning and Y1 is far far too young for homework or even spellings

[quote Aria2015]@SleepingStandingUp So there are 6 spellings a week, given out on a Monday. We only have 3 days he can practice before his test because he's in childcare one day a week after school. I try and fit in learning the letters in each word as and when I can and I try and make it as fun as I can. It's the sitting down and writing out the words that is the time consuming bit and the bit that causes the upset. Today to write out each word twice (so twelve times) took us nearly half and hour because he kept on bursting into tears.

The reading is a short book and I have to keep a log of what reading he does. So how much time he's spent and what's good and what needs work etc... that I'm not too worried about because as long as we get through the book in the week then it's fine.

@LizzieMacQueen I know his bedtime is early but he's always slept loads. I've even taken him for blood tests to make sure his levels are all ok (they are). He just needs a lot of sleep for some reason (not something I generally complain about lol!).

Can I just ask with the spelling. So many of you saying you do spelling over breakfast etc... what exactly are you doing? Am I doing it wrong? I'm getting him to write the words out again and again (because they gave him a spelling book) and also 'testing' him on the letters outside of that. [/quote]
Here you go a few suggestions:

Breakfast: get some cereal in shape of alphabet. Ask him to put on spoon the letters of x or y.

Get some pen and paper and ask him to spell a word and make a paper ball or a plain and throw it to the bucket you hold or place at the end of the table.

Bath time:

• get some foam letters and ask him to spell some words using these.

• spell the words using bubbles.

Bedtime:

• when you read a book pretend that you are tired and ask him to read the word and progress with a few words and the sentence.

I hope that helps.

@Aria2015 the school should be telling you these kind of things or even better not putting pressure on you at all! Hope things get a bit easier whatever you decide to do

@SoloMummy I feel like my lo isn't ready for the spelling test part too. He has to memorise the letters that make up the word and then write them down. I can get him to remember the letters and repeat them verbally to me but when he comes to write them, he has to concentrate so hard on the writing side of it that he struggles then to remember the letters of that makes sense?

We do reading practice and reading log either while I make dinner or while I do the dishes.

Hw is up for debate on how useful it is.
As ever depends on the child.

What's his learning like generally? Is he OK?
Does he learn?

I'd back right off, keep reading to him, keep an eye on his learning and progress and also his doctor.

Maybe take him and make sure he's OK? I've never known any child go to bed so early at 5!

DD went to bed at 7 at 5. Quiet time started at 6.
She's now 9 and goes to bed at 8:30 and she's absolutely exhausted.

Op when you say put to bed, is that when you start bedtime or when he's asleep? What do you do at bedtime - could you get him to read the book then?
I check what spellings DS knows and then we just practise them out loud all week. I know it's a bit different when they then have to write them down, but it's a start

Another one coming on to say don't do the homework if you and DS are not enjoying it. If you can do fun things like make up words over breakfast, or turn it all into games then its not so boring. We get chalks and write words on the driveway, trace letter shapes in coloured rice or kinetic sand, have a set of alphablocks to make up words (they were free with a cbeebies magazine).and play bananagrams and other spelling games. We also use the tablet and play "how to teach your monster to read" which teaches phonics and DD is totally addicted to it!

@Splendidseptember he's a bright child, very articulate. He couldn't write when he started reception but by the end of lockdown he knew all his letters and their sounds and his writing had come on loads. His pattern is, that he'll appear to struggle with learning something new and then suddenly it'll just click and he's got it and doesn't look back. I know that it will click with spelling and reading too, I'm not worried about that I suppose, I'm just worried that there's obviously an expectation from the school for him to learn in a certain way, through homework and tests and that he's not ready for that just yet.

@SleepingStandingUp I mean he's in bed for 6.30pm. It's not set in stone as I judge it on how he is after school but the latest he would be in bed on a school night is 7pm. If he goes any later then he's miserable the next morning.

So we start bedtime about 40 mins beforehand. He has a quick shower and dressed for bed and then about 25 minutes for stories and teeth and then bed. He goes to sleep pretty much straight away and doesn't disturb all night. I wake him in the morning about 7.30am (always me waking him and not the other way around).

So we have a decent chunk for story time and I think we could definitely use some of this for his reading homework. So will definitely try that.

The other thing to remember is it doesn't have to be the whole book. Depending on what reading level he is, he might easily do a few pages or he might only do 1. That's ok. Praise him for how awesome he is telling you a story and do the next page the next night

@beingmums thanks for those suggestions. I'll definitely give them a go. What I'm seeing from these posts is the importance of making things fun and that's definitely been lacking as I've been relying on learning techniques taught to me many moons ago! I need to be more imaginative and fun and feel confident that he can still learn by different methods other than the ones the school is advocating (which are the same methods I learnt by years and years ago!).

Op, how come he did so well in lock down, did you work with him?..

Best thing for spelling is magnetic letters and him putting letter together then a white board, fun colour pens... Writing them.. As well as tips up thread. Many children are more visual learners, which some schools seem to struggle to accommodate... I don't know why!

If it's the writing down that's stressing him, don't do it. Talk about the words, see if he can sound them out phonetically. Job done. Let him write them in school.

These days I work as a TA in reception and year 1. The best way to get children to learn is to make it fun. In reception (and what I've seen of year 1 so far) phonics and maths are all done through games - I had no idea until I started working there.