Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Tips on how not to get so wound up over this

30 replies

cyclingmad · 14/09/2020 23:58

so wfh in a mid terrace house and discovered how thin my walls are....

Its really grating on me now hearing my neighbour sneezing, his TV bubbling away in the background, scrapping his plates when he is eating.

Now his fecking floorboards are creaking so I know when he is in his bedroom, also can hear him turn off his lights and hear his hed creaking when he gets in.

Like wtaf I'm living with someone without them physically in the house with me.

I'm really starting to hate my house and getting wound up by it.

Moving isn't an option I simply can't afford it nor is changing rooms as my other rooms are office and dressing room.

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I actually now sleep with ear plugs on cos he goes to bed after I do and even then with ear plugs I can hear his floorboards Hmm

I need coping mechanisms how to not let it get to me

OP posts:
knobblykneesandturnedouttoes · 15/09/2020 00:05

I would try to have some background noise to cover it if I were you. Radio or relaxing music on low so it's a sound of your choosing. I totally get it, I'm very sensitive to noises.

Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 00:21

Yeah i have my TV on when I'm watching even then I can hear his tv unless I really whack my volume up.

I also play music too but always feels like it has been on quite loud to drown noises out.

I just want to go back to the office cos these evening noises didn't get to me before but now its all day everyday its too much.

I used to sleep in the bedroom at the fronf of the house and he was in the back bedroom...can tell by his creaking floorboarss. Then he moves to sleep in the room opposite me...i did my rooms up n moved to the back bedroom and now he has also moved too..

Creepy af

OP posts:
Mixedandproud · 15/09/2020 00:30

TBH it doesn’t sound like your neighbour is doing anything wrong just living his life! Have you thought that he can probably hear lot’s of the same noises you make too?!
I think as PP said have background noise on to try and mask it.
You say the other rooms are office and dressing room. What’s to stop you changing them around to see if that helps unless they are much smaller.

WorraLiberty · 15/09/2020 00:36

nor is changing rooms as my other rooms are office and dressing room.

Should be pretty simple to move office/dressing room stuff into the bedroom though?

FlorenceNightshade · 15/09/2020 00:42

Scraping his plates? You can hear that through your walls?!? Can you not put a pullout bed in your office for when it gets too much? If you can have both rooms set up for sleeping then you could just go where he’s not.

Ear plugs, loud ticking bedroom clocks and Alexa sleep sounds might help too.

TeddyIsaHe · 15/09/2020 00:47

Jesus, the poor guy is only living. It’s not like he’s screaming all day everyday, and banging saucepans on the walls.

Maybe try some mindful meditation to chill you out a bit. If you’re getting posed off about someone literally jut living you must be quite stressed at all times.

Mixedandproud · 15/09/2020 00:49

Plus I should have said we live in a semi detached house. Our living room is next to our neighbours kitchen. We can hear him punching holes in his microwave meals and pressing the buttons! But similarly he can most likely hear our TV on and what we’re watching. Thankfully our neighbour is nice and not a party animal and neither are we.
If you did move you could end up next to someone much much worse. Up all night, playing loud music, barking dog, parties in the garden, non stop shouting and arguing, etc, etc.
Maybe you are hyper sensitive because you don’t like WFH and you don’t have as much time away from your home. Is this likely to be a long term work situation?

pinkcheesecake · 15/09/2020 01:43

You come living in my house for 24 hours and trust me, you will go running back to your home kissing your walls and hugging your neighbour so much and appreciating it. I wish my neighbours just lived like normal human beings. I hear them 20 hours a day shouting, screaming, banging, children riding their bikes in a small patio at 5am, horrible music on all day long, their dogs going off at all hours- imagine wfh under those conditions. I've collected enough evidence and have taken the case further. Back to you, switch your room around if you can and remember if you can hear him, he can also hear you.

PhilCornwall1 · 15/09/2020 05:24

How old are these semis and terraced houses you live in where you can hear neighbours scraping plates and punching holes in microwave meals? The sound proofing sounds scary!

Our last house was a semi and you could hear the neighbour slam a door or when they put music on (twats), but couldn't hear much else (1970s semi).

Our first place was mid terrace, but was built in the 1800s with 2ft thick granite walls. You wouldn't hear a bomb go off next door in that place, never heard the neighbours in that place.

Nikori · 15/09/2020 05:30

We used to live in a flat and we could hear our neighbor coming home from the pub on Friday nights and taking the longest piss you can imagine. But, there's nothing to be done about it, I'm afraid. People are entitled to live their lives. It's the house that is the problem and you can't change that.

Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 06:23

I get it that people have to live their lives its just i never realised how thin the walls were before as I used ro be in the office all day and then meeting people after work or going to the cinema so wasn't always in my house so much.

Its a 1985 house.

And yes it also occurs to me they will also hear me now too.

I appreciate you say swap rooms over but like I said pre covid I spent a fair amount of money doing all my rooms up, new furniture, lighting and had s local designer help achieve the look i wanted so it isn't a simple case of just swap furniture into other rooms.

I guess I just didn't expect walls to be that thin I could hear a person sneezing or a light switch being turned off.

Now on top of this his floorboards have started creaking.

Unfortunately I'm stuck wfh full-time until at least January. Even getting out for 2-3 days would just break it up for me.

Its not possible to even work from coffee shops as my local ones don't have enough seating and I have alot of meetings so not practical.

Anyway thanks for the tips ill try them out

OP posts:
Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 06:24

Have definitely started to seriously consider what it'll take to buy a dwtached house as your right its a house problem that has only come to light since wfh.

OP posts:
Bellesavage · 15/09/2020 06:26

Could you put up some sound proofing plasterboard? Not sure if that would help with noise coming from his side but worth looking into.

userxx · 15/09/2020 06:39

My friend is like you, sensitive to noise, I've suggested a nice detached house somewhere rural. I find the noise of someone pottering next door quite soothing, obviously not loud music or shouting. WFH is obviously getting you down and I wouldn't make any rash decisions about moving just yet.

JorisBonson · 15/09/2020 06:43

I used to be super sensitive to noise until I moved into a mid terrace. Spent the first few months so on edge about it that I couldn't carry on like that and just had to let it go.

eaglejulesk · 15/09/2020 06:50

I can hear my neighbours (their living area backs onto my bedroom), and to be honest I'm so used to it that I miss the sounds when they are not there. I also had a part deaf person in that flat, who had the TV so loud my bedroom furniture sometimes vibrated, and a man who would watch rugby and cheer (loudly) in the early hours of the morning. It's life, if you can't move you will just have to try to get used to it - getting wound up is not going to change anything.

Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 07:05

Think wfh all day long every day hasnt helped. As I said before I'd be out the house by 8am not back until 6 or 7 then come in do a few chores and go to gym for 2hrs and then come back eat sleep and some days id see friends.

Now its in the house all day long can only go to the gym for 45min slot and meeting friends isnt as often because of distances much easier when your all in London already for work.

I think i just live quite quietly and I have had music on to cocer the TV noise but then it always sounds so loud, considering I love music events you think it wouldn't be an issue. 😆

OP posts:
Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 07:11

Also I'm gonna look into having a quote on soundproofing I'm losing a tiny bit of space in bedrooms will be OK, living room ill have to see how much space is lost.

I've read up on soundproofing but there is always a statement saying if you have shared joists etc soubd will still travel through but no harm is checking what can be done and the cost

OP posts:
crimsonlake · 15/09/2020 07:46

I understand and whilst you do not appear to have the neighbour from hell it can still feel very intrusive.
There was a thread on here recently and they discussed soundproofing, the consensus is that it does not work.
I was living detached for many years and had to downsize to a semi, all I will say is that I took the peace for granted. I dream about that house.

Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 08:03

Thanks @crimsonlake I am grateful on one hand it could be worse but you understand me in that it does feel intrusive to me.

It would be a problem hearing thise noise if I actually have a lodger in my house and it was nojses feom bedroom to another bedroom but between houses is a bit too much. Sure loud talking, thumping banging noises I could understand but sneezing! Knowing he just got out of bed cos I can hear his floorboards creaking.

Today I'm just not going to think about it too much and just put on music or headphones and try to do my best to look at how I can work away from my house when I dont have meetings to just have a break from my house.

I do love my house location, size etc just loved it when i wasn't in it like i am now.

OP posts:
userxx · 15/09/2020 08:50

@cyclingmad Hopefully you'll be back in the office soon. Think everyone has fallen out of love with their homes a little bit these last 6 months.

Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 09:02

yes hoping for Jan so only 3 more months 🙏

OP posts:
Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 09:04

although I guess i did learn something...that Im gonna make sure I have lots of money for retirement cos my neighbour is retired and all he does is sit at home everyday and watch TV

OP posts:
userxx · 15/09/2020 09:21

yes hoping for Jan so only 3 more months 🙏

I take my hat off to you. Luckily I've able to continue going into work everyday throughout all this, I would have lost my mind!

Original poster
cyclingmad · 15/09/2020 09:45

@userxx and to add to that the house on the other side of my neighbour is gutting the place, you would think I should hear it but nope I do Grin I might just go drive 30 miles and work from my parents house

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread