Hysterectomy....feeling sorry for myself

[Bearlyawake]

I've (very recently) been diagnosed with a very rare form of cancer. I had a fibroid removed a few weeks ago and it was sent for testing (standard procedure) and the fucker turned out to be cancerous.

I'm waiting to have further scans and tests to establish exactly what I'm dealing with, but I've been advised that I'm going to need a hysterectomy. We have one small child, and I was hoping we would have another in a couple of years. I am happy to sacrifice my womb if it means beating this cancer, but I'm struggling with this choice being taken away, I am so sad I won't get to have another baby. I know we're lucky to have one, but it's still so hard to process.

I've been trying to keep my shit together since I found out, but I've had a few glasses of wine this evening and frankly I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself. I don't know what I'm hoping to get from this thread. If there's anyone out there who has been through similar or has any words of wisdom, feel free to throw them my way.

I’m in a similar position in that after a recent health scare I’m probably going to need a hysterectomy.

I do have 3 kids though so I don’t have all of your worries.

Did they say this is your only option?

Would freezing eggs etc be an option?

Either way I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Life can suck. I guess you have to focus on the positives as best you can.

I'm so sorry, what a horrible piece of news to receive.

That's a huge thing to come to terms with, and it is a loss - you are very much allowed to feel sorry for yourself (aka being compassionate) and whatever other feelings you have.

Honestly, I think you'd stand a better chance of processing your feelings about it if you stopped trying to force yourself to adopt a positive position you don't feel and berating yourself for feeling pain ("I'm lucky... therefore I am not allowed to feel distress" is not a nice way to treat yourself).

It sounds so cliched but painful emotions don't last forever even when they feel like they will - if you face them (even if you only do so in small doses) it allows them to drain out of your system a bit rather than the emotions draining you.

A hysterectomy is a loss. You're allowed to feel that way at the same time as feeling relieved you have treatment options. It's not an either or situation. I am sorry this is happening to you.

@ItchyScratch I'm sorry to hear you're in a similar situation. Egg freezing was briefly mentioned, it's something I will be able to discuss in more detail further down the line. Hysterectomy is looking pretty inevitable at this stage.

@user165423256322 thank you for your kind and wise words. I think you've hit the nail on the head that it's OK for me to be sad and upset and I've not been allowing myself to feel that way.

I’m so sorry to hear this. What a lot to process. I have no experience aside from possibly needing a hysterectomy for other reasons. Wishing you all the best and sending support 💐💐💐