DD (8) has a maths test tomorrow. She was really upset she made some silly mistakes in her last one and brought home an extra sheet for practice this afternoon. She wouldn't even let me show the last one to DH and said I had to promise to keep it hidden from him (a parent has to sign it).
I don't know how to deal with this! I was always desperate to do well so my parents would be pleased, but no mark was ever good enough for them. I was of course then bullied for being a swot and didn't have a particularly happy time at school. I was never given any responsibility for my work if that makes sense. I learnt the stuff, probably understood half of it, but that wasn't important. I wasn't allowed to choose the subjects I studied for GCSE or Alevels and ended up doing a totally unsuited degree and am pretty much unemployable now.
At what age do you let them have independence over their learning rather than close supervision? So, them deciding they want to learn for a test rather than me saying "you've a test, you need to revise." How do I foster a sense of pride in her work and her knowing and accepting when she has done her best and when she could have done better?
I was very dependent on good luck charms, lucky pencils, beads in my pencil case etc which sounds crazy now and probably was on the extreme side, I don't want her to think she needs luck to do well. I want her to be able to trust in her ability and have faith in herself. But I've no clue how to go about reinforcing that. Any wise words?