Racial slurs used by non-white people.

[Chaotic45]

I'm so hoping I can explain myself on this thread without causing offence. I am a white woman, I would not use a racial slur ever in any context as I'm firmly of the belief that it's offensive (I'm sorry that's stating the obvious but I felt I should make that crystal clear).

My teenage son feels the same.

He is coming across people in his fathers extended family who do use these words and this weekend he has called them out on it and received an enormous backlash.

In a nutshell they feel he is a snowflake, that's they are using it as banter etc etc.. Their core argument is that some groups of people use these words amongst themselves without causing offence, therefore it's not offensive.

I hope I'm making sense here, without needing to quote actual words.

I am of the opinion that this does not change the fact that the words are offensive and shouldn't be used, but my son has come to me for an actual explanation.

I've struggled to find the right words to explain, beyond that it's different when a group of people towards whom that word is used claim it as their own and use it amongst themselves.

Is there another way to explain this?

I feel I should have clarified, within the OP, non-white and person of colour used in this way doesn't bother me, since it's asking how others feel about white people using racial slurs. Whatever term is used there will mean 'people who are not white'.

I only find it weird when it's used to homogenous our perspectives (BAME find X offensive, POC prefer...) when obviously we have a wide range of opinions on any topic. I know others who find it weird all the time and fine even data collection this way (rather than naming our individual groups) erasure and still others who don't care at all.

It's hard position for your DS, it sounds like you're doing a great job supporting him through a difficult time with difficult people.