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Why would he suddenly say such horrible things?

8 replies

hellomary · 13/09/2020 20:44

A year or so I ended a relatively short relationship of two years with someone I have known really my whole life. I wasn’t in the right mindset and he very much wanted to settle there and then and didn’t give me any space to do things I wanted to do like travel etc. For these reasons I ended it and we stayed friends from a distance, talking often on the phone and messaging. During covid I was staying with family, very close to where he lives. We met up a few times for a socially distanced walk and then after lockdown went for a drink, a week ago. None of this was at all romantic talk or meet ups, though we had grown closer I guess. The meet up wasn’t a date.

We sit in the pub and its a little more cosy. I asked if he ever thought about us in that way, he said yes. Then suddenly he started to get quite combative. He said he would have given me everything and that I treated him badly for ending things. I was defensive here and simply said that I did what I thought was right at the time for us both. In fact I hadn’t dated anyone since I broke up with him , there was never someone waiting in the wings, I just wanted to do some things for me at that time.

He then tells me he has a woman moving in with him in a week because she’s having his baby!!! I asked why he hadn’t told me and he said he didn’t have to tell me everything, it was none of my business and that it was a one night stand but now they are going to make a go of it and that was my fault, my loss and ‘I made my bed so I should lie in it’?! He seemed angry with me that I had ended things but I don’t understand it as we have been friends since then.

I don’t know what I’m asking really. Guess I just feel hurt and confused by him and like the friendship is clearly gone forever. I just don’t know why on Earth he would meet me like that and be friendly only to suddenly turn on me when he’s having a child. I would have been happy for him but didn’t get the chance as he was so fast to bite my head off!

OP posts:
wedidntstartthefires · 13/09/2020 21:02

Sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too!

Basically he seems angry with you not falling for him, even though he is having a serious relationship (and a baby) with another woman.

Very entitled if you ask me!

CoRhona · 13/09/2020 23:58

But you did bring up romantic talk, you asked him if he ever felt 'that' way about you.

You would never ask a friend that, why on earth did you say it? You're toying with him.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/09/2020 00:03

I think he's been waiting for his big chance to "get back" at you. A pathetic man with a bruised ego. Block the twat.

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Somethingkindaoooo · 14/09/2020 00:06

Sounds like you both were childish....?

Why ask him.what you did?

AbulaConundrum · 14/09/2020 00:14

Well you didn't just swap to being friends after you finished with him, he was obviously still hoping you would change your mind. Lucky escape by the sounds of it. He was desperate to settle, wouldn't give you any space, got angry with you over his pregnant one night stand - not exactly a catch is he?

TwixTwixtwoo · 14/09/2020 00:36

What he's done is the equivalent of getting back with an ex who dumped you just so you can dump them really isn't it. He's waited for the first inkling you're interested again and then hit you with the surprise girlfriend/baby in the hope it hurts you the way you hurt him. Not terribly mature and more than a bit nasty really, I feel a bit sorry for the woman he's having a baby with tbh, at least you can cut all ties with him OP.

Anordinarymum · 14/09/2020 00:40

It sounds like you have both made mistakes. I feel sorry for the other lady having his child.

Move on

SingingInTheShithouse · 14/09/2020 00:58

You asked. He told you.

Sounds like he's held a candle for you ever since, has got him self into a situation with a fling who has fallen pregnant & he's settled for making a go of it & was probably quite happy to so, given that was what he wanted, even back when you were a couple. Then you suddenly go & throw him crumbs of the hope that you might think of him as more than a friend. You just messed with his head at a time he's just convinced himself he's happy to move on. That's why he's angry, he didn't know how else to react & is pushing you away. Which given his circumstances, is for the best.

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